Big baby

I broke my record of heaviest baby that I helped deliver during my night shift in labour ward yesterday. The mother was a small size lady and it was her first baby. Guess was was the birth weight - 4.0kg. I almost lost balance carrying the baby up to show to the mother as I didn't expect her to be so big. Big baby and big cry too. So cute but poor mother had to put in a lot of effort pushing.

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

I'm finally back to the blogging world. The reason for my absence was due to preparations for exams, laziness, politics at work and of course, playing too much. Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone. May the year of the dragon bring luck and prosperity to you and your family.

I was lucky that I was off on the eve and the first two days of Chinese New Year. Our family brought my 86 year old grandmother all the way up to Genting Highlands and taught her how to gamble on the one-arm-bandit. Hahahahaha. I'm glad that she's still very strong and adventurous. My parents and I were amazed to see her try all sort of food from the buffet table including sushi. I got so fascinated watching her eat. Sometimes I wished that there were not that many people at the theme parks. The queues were so long and I was too lazy to wait so I ended up losing RM20 at the casino. With my small contributions combined with all the other gamblers, my GENM share did go up over these few days and hopefully the trend stays that way.

Thinking of all the events that I still haven't blogged about, I think it's about time I start a post a week just to update my blog before I forget. Blogging is just like hobbies, studying and everything else that requires constant effort, once you lose your momentum, it's difficult to start again. I should be more hardworking. The reason why I want to put in so much effort in this hobby is that it gives me so much joy when I'm reading back on all the entries. The things that you do when you're so naive. Ok, I'm still naive but maybe less now.

Dragon year isn't a good year for people working at the labour suite. So many babies were delivered since the start of the Chinese New Year holidays!!!!!! My fellow houseman and I almost fainted during that night shift as we were constantly admitting, delivering, assisting casesareans for the whole night and we didn't even had time to sit down. I'm dreading tomorrow's oncall starting from 9.30am till Monday morning. Haih.....I hope that whoever wants to deliver this holiday has already delivered. But this will never come true. Imagine, for the past few days, labour suite has been so full that patients in active labour has to be admitted to the antenatal ward first. I can't wait to leave obs and gynae posting!

Most entries to come, backdating since last October 2011. Now I'm wondering if I have the motivation to do this. Hmmmm.....

Selfishness

It's sad to say that not everyone you'd expect to safeguard patient's well being especially in this line of work actually practices it. Nowadays it's all about documenting that i've informed the house officer on call to safeguard themselves and what happens after that is not important at all as they've already passed the buck to the HO.

I know it's important they nurses do their passing over by a certain time so that the night shift person can go home on time and the morning shift can start writing her report on time. But please, don't take away the nursing care plan (containing patient's vital signs cart, drug cart, investigation chart, etc) when I am in the middle of attending an unstable patient with my oncall MO.

Next time, can I say please don't touch the notes as doctors are passing over as well? I thought we were supposed to practice beneficence and nonmaleficence but I guess most of us are practicing selfishnesscence.

Urban Poverty

There's just too many new graduates and professionals including housemans who are living in poverty nowadays. 'Housemans poor? You're doctors, how have you be considered poor?' but that is very true. Any pay below RM3000 nowadays is considered urban poverty and my latest basic pay is RM2550.23. Sadly, I need assistance from critical allowances, living allowances aka 'bantuan sara hidup', and there's still no sign of our shift allowance. Imagine even professionals are living in poverty in Malaysia, what a joke. Ok, there's a pay increase of RM91.84 but even with that, my basic pay is still far below the poverty line.

In our parents generation, a new graduate can easily afford to buy a car after getting 6 months of pay and afford to own a house in a few years. Nowadays, we have to rely on our parent's Employees Provident Fund (EPF) and savings to help us own our first homes as our pay doesn't qualify for that bank loan.

Inflation is getting out of hand and our pay is not increasing proportionately. Poor doctors you say? There's so many aspects to it and now you can add financially poor to that.

Fear of the unknown

If only I could channel the energy used to worry about what will I have to face during my first night shift on the labour room tonight to positive thinking and enthusiasm to learn as much as I can, then life will be less stressful.

Will I be able to cope? Luckily time waits for no one, so no matter how bad things turn out, at least it'll be over by Friday 8am. Muahahahaha. Can this be counted as a motivation?

Surviving

I bet you all must be wondering what happened to me for the past 1 week or so. Life had been tough but now it's getting easier as I got more used to things in the labour ward. Seriously, it's a highly stressful and scary place to be in initially. The most important thing that could make the transition easier would be good seniors but sadly, that wasn't the case for me for the first few days.

I seriously wonder will degrading and demotivating help in the training process. Sometimes I think that energy used to scold us is better channeled for something better. I admit that most of us don't have enough experience conducting deliveries but that doesn't mean that we're that stupid to the extent that we can't learn. Luckily I've applied enough local anaestetic to both eardrums to withstand all insults and have mastered the art of selective hearing. Muahahahaha. Now even the porters (PPK) scold the doctors for throwing the scrubs into the wrong bin or wrapping the placenta in the wrong way before returning it to the mother. I wonder what happened to the very least respect that I think I deserve to have. Luckily for all those cute little newborns to give me that tiny bit of motivation to go on or I'll fall into a really deep depression and you won't see me ever again.

Labour ward can really suck the life out of you. I go home every single day not only mentally drained but physically as well cause I'm not only the houseman conducting the delivery, I set the drips up, give IV bolus and infusion medications, assist in OT, carry those 10kg stirrups to put patients into lithotomy position and even dismantling and fixing back the end of the bed pre and post delivery. I even change the bed sheets after each delivery. The workout is even better as compared to going to the gym. Good way to cut expenses and stay healthy. I still wake up the next morning having severe aches over both arms, shoulders, legs and even my back. Actually I'm a bit worried if I'll get a disc prolapse from all those lifting. Hmmmmm.....

Can't wait for the end of my attachment in labour ward. I hope that the other wards are more relaxed and seniors are better.

On night shift on Gynae ward tomorrow. I hope that it'll be a relaxing call. I'm dreading my shift on the labour ward which is just around the corner.

Holiday withdrawal syndrome and the start of new rotation

Tomorrow, I'll be reporting for duty for the obstetric and gynaecology rotation. Sad and excited at the same time. Sad because I'll be suffering from holiday withdrawal syndrome and excited as I have no idea what to expect from this rotation. Plus, it's going to be tough for me as I've just signed up for the January MRCP Part 1 examination. Arrrrrggghhhhh......I don't know if I'll have sufficient time, self discipline and motivation to prepare for it. It's too expensive to be treated as a trial exam. Haih.....why do I put myself through so much torture?

Minimum 20 questions a day from now on!!!

Frustrated and shocked

What will you feel if suddenly you realised that your senior is not competent at all and that you're left all alone to save a patient's life?

Seriously, I can't believe that this happened. I was suddenly called by the nurse while I was struggling with a difficult cannula as the visiting registrar was looking for me, plus it sounded urgent. So, I somehow managed to quickly put in the cannula and went over. He told me patient suddenly stopped breathing and just stood one side while I rushed to the patient ordering the nurses to take down the vital signs, give oxygen and bring the crash trolley.

Throughout the whole resuscitation up till me bagging the patient, he just stood there and do nothing! I mean, at least he could have ordered oxygen when the patient turned blue in front of him but he just stood there. My nurse even had to get another lecturer to come over to help me. I seriously couldn't believe that there's qualified physicians of this standard in this era. This was hopeless. I was already trying desperately to cope alone as there were no other houseman sent to help me while my partner was on long medical leave and there's still unqualified senior around. I felt like I was seriously in the deepest end of the sea drowning and there's no one there who can help me. By the time my lecturer arrived, the patient had already stabilised and was transferred to the acute bay.

I thought that the drama was over but in the afternoon, when I finally had the opportunity to go down to the radiology department to beg for urgent scans, I received an urgent call from my staff nurse that another patient collapsed. Great, I ran all the way back as fluid resuscitation couldn't be given as her hand with the cannula was already swollen. Usually I don't panic when these things happen, but knowing that all my other seniors are in clinic that afternoon and there's only me looking after the ward while I was trying desperately to set another cannula in an oedematous patient doesn't help with confidence at all. At least my staff nurse tried helping me but desperate times require desperate measures. I managed to set my first external jugular venous access.

To cut a long story short, my 2nd patient who crashed that day survived. Haih......At least my lecturer ran back from clinic just in time when I've already done what I could for her.

I hate working alone. I dread going to work these days. I need a break before I go crazy.

Food log for September

Life has been hectic despite the shift system as we're so stretched due to lack of manpower for it to even work properly. Sometime I wish I can just hypnotise myself so that I won't start comparing to other hospitals where 1 houseman looks after only 2 patients and they don't have to give IV drugs and do ECGs. Due to the number of bloods that I have to take and the number of patients in my wards which is always 100% occupied, I feel more like a phlebotomist than a doctor. There are speculations that we will revert back to the oncall system soon. Thus, the start of the vicious cycle of insufficient houseman which leads to the need for oncall and nobody will want to come do housemanship in UM as there's no shift system. The situation is so bad that each day after work, I try desperately to reflect on what have I learned for the day besides improving on my blood taking skills but I just can't find one. Can someone teach me how to find joy and motivation in blood taking? Now I'm starting to feel sorry for myself. Haih.....

Let me start blogging about something else other than work, which means, yes, you guessed it correctly - food.

Yuen Garden Dim Sum House

The dim sum here is not bad. The portions are quite big. Come in groups of triplets so that you don't have to fight over the different types.

Ming Tien Food Court

I like the Lo Bak Kou from this stall.

I somehow like eating at food courts with a group of friends as you get to order so many different types of food to share. A good change from just eating 1 kind of dish per meal.

Buffet at Impiana Hotel just opposite KLCC:

My dad won vouchers for the buffet at Impiana in one of the lucky draws. So lucky. It was coincidentally seafood buffet that night and the grilled oysters and smoked salmon were fantastic. The variety wasn't vast but the quality of seafood was really high. Recommended if you have RM90 ringgit and looking for somewhere nice to dine. Too bad that there's no senior citizen discount.

Sanuki Udon House at Taman Desa

This place serves the most delicious and affordable udon in Malaysia. One thing about this restaurant is, it's mainly vegetarian and only offers very limited choices of meat. Above is fried chicken is one of the rare option of meat on its menu.

I highly recommend the original house special cold udon. After eating here once, I had cravings for udon.

 This was my second meal there. Cold udon with egg. Not as nice as the original.

Hot udon with egg and seaweed. Not bad too. The price for a bowl of udon is RM5 and if you order sides like seaweed, toufu, it'll be an extra RM1 each. The green tea is refillable. Definitely within budget.

Geylang Lor9 @ SS2:

Have you walked into a restaurant that specialises in frog meat porridge and ordered the porridge without the frog? That's exactly what we did. Hahahahahahahaha. We're too chicken to try the frog porridge but it's famous for it. Actually the plain porridge tasted not bad too.

Some random bar at Jaya One:

Please do the right thing and find some other better ways to unwind after work.

Best Nasi Dagang that money can't buy:

This was a treat that I received from one of my patient's son who works as a royal chef. My patient used to be a royal chef too before his son took over. Seriously, I've never tasted nasi dagang this delicious despite going all the way to Kelantan to have it. You really made my day.

One of the nearest Chinese Restaurant to my hospital:

I just cannot remember the name of this restaurant despite dining there a few times. Hahahahaha. Well, this Char Kuey Teow is famous and the stall is manned by one 1 person. It was advertised in the newspapers. Never chase the cook to serve you quicker as he'll get angry. That's how good the business is. It's actually not bad.

Trip to Kelantan:

I spent Malaysia Day in Kelantan. Had authentic Thai cuisine in the same restaurant that ML brought me years back. It's still the same journey through forests and housing estates and this restaurant miraculously appears out of nowhere. Hahahah.

Ice Kacang. Food here is really cheap.

Cantonese style Kuey Teow. We had to dine in a hotel as all the shops were closed on Saturday as it was a holiday replacement for Friday which was Malaysia Day. Oh well....

Sitting Buddha. My friend wanted to bring me to see this really accurate fortune teller at this temple but too bad, he retired. I wanted to ask him when will I retire. Hahahahahaha.

Fruits rojak. Very delicious.

Ice Kacang again as the weather was really hot.

Penang laksa.

Urban Decay:

After not buying any cosmetics at all for such a long time, I finally invested in Urban Decay eye primer and I even bought its 15th anniversary eye shadow collection. The eye primer is really awesome as it does make the eyeshadow stay the whole day. Work really well on oily skin too. The eye shadows are just too beautiful to be used. Shouldn't have bought it. Hahahaha.

Another day at work tomorrow. I really hate working alone as there's no one to relate to. Looking forward to my end of posting leave. I do need it badly!

The feeling I had on my way back to my room after shift at 8am is.....

PRICELESS!!!!

Seriously, it made such a big different to get you through the night. My performance was better, line setting flawless, management more appropriate, I even had the motivation to read up on things which I didn't know.

Learning requires not only sufficient exposure but interest to learn which comes automatically with enough rest.

Cheers to shift system.