I've always had this fear of pain. I don't know when did it start becoming so significant almost turning into a phobia. So, basically, I dread going for an injection or giving blood samples.
There was once when I was 16 and was due for a Booster injection for Hepatitis B. At the same time, I was preparing for the inter-school debate. At that time, I kept on wondering which was worse, the stage fright or the fear of needles. The stress from both of them were so bad that I even had a nightmare dreaming about a nurse giving me an injection and jumped out of bed as the needle made contact with my skin, waking up physically feeling a sharp pain in my left arm. The pain was just too real. What happened, I never knew. A mosquito might have conveniently bitten my arm. But could it happen at that exact moment with that precise timing with my dream?
I've inherited my father's veins which is practically invisible on both arms. There were no problem with him as he's not afraid of needles and has experience being poked many times by nurses just to get his blood sample. I, on the other hand, dread needles. Once was bad enough. Recently, it was twice.
Last Wednesday, I had to rush to the Women's Hospital to give a blood sample for testing prior to the start of my Obs and Gynae rotation. I think by rushing there on foot, it made my veins constrict even more. Even with the tornique on, nobody could identify where was my vein. The nurse tried the left arm at first, and had to give up shortly after. It was a small sharp pain, but it wasn't too bad.
Then it was on the other arm. This time, I could tell that there was a vein in there. Sharp pain again as the needle went through the skin, my worse fear happened. Halfway, the blood stopped and the nurse had to realign the needle. That didn't hurt. But when she pulled the needles out, a really bad burning sensation together with pain was felt. It wasn't to the extent of jumping off the chair but it wasn't nice. At least she managed to fill the sample bottle and not poke me another time.
After this incident, I've decided to record this experience somewhere as forgetting how bad it was (which was actually not as bad as I'd expected) made anticipating for the next confrontation very traumatizing and out of proportion to the real thing. I did end up with a bruise on my right arm but that wasn't too big a bruise.
Saturday 27 September 2008
Sunday 21 September 2008
Hope Street Feast 08
It had been a quiet Saturday and Sunday morning till I received a phone call from M informing me about the festival which was going on at Hope Street. I didn't expect my afternoon to be filled with laughter, fun and excitement as I was just planning to do some boring but necessary grocery shopping.
What a nice sunny day to be out!
It does seem like summer now when you see people just sitting down on steps enjoying the sun.
The world's most famous conductor passing through. I was wondering was he conducting the way we were walking.
At one point, I saw this little kid getting 'money' from this wierd looking cashpoint.
Even keying in your pin was automated.
So, we decided to queue up as well.
Very user-friendly cash machine.
Finally, my 100 Neuros to spend at the feast!
Neuros was the currency used at the Market of Optimism.
10 Neuro for a golden egg
M looks so cute here
The guardian of the golden eggs
10 Neuros to dance your worries or despairs away
I prefer to pay 10 Neuros for some essence of childhood
Grow the money tree, joyous delirium or magic beans here. V and I were made to sing a Malaysian song before getting our 'magic' plant so we ended up singing Rasa Sayang and getting sprinkled with red glitter all over our heads. There were special spells that came with the plant for it to work. Mine was, water your plant with 2 cups of tea every morning and fertilize with a spoonful of sugar every Sunday. I don't think it'll survive.
The Magic Lamp stall grant people any number of wishes they want. They just enjoy making a fool out of people. The more wishes you want, the sillier the things they do to you. Which included using the 'super clean' cloth to clean your ears out, making bystanders balance pots on the head and shoulders of the poor fella making the wish.
Big dance group which involved the crowd.
Fancy some brass music?
There were so many types of food to eat. From Spanish Paella to different types of cheese. I bought the Cranberry flavoured, and Parsley and Garlic flavoured cheese for 4 pounds. I think I'll put on 1kg per block of cheese after finishing them.
Pink motorcycle. Glittery as well.
Hmmm, the Guardian Angel's stall had a deck of cards. Cho Dai Di anyone? Maybe that's how they occupy their time up there.
Most English looking Superlambanana statue.
Another view
He was painting on the spot without any sketches or references to paper plans. Awesome.
First time being able to stand in the middle of the road during the day time without being knocked down. It's because they closed the road for this special occasion.
May everyone gain some hope from reading. I know I've gained not only hope but lots of laughter from it.
What a nice sunny day to be out!
It does seem like summer now when you see people just sitting down on steps enjoying the sun.
The world's most famous conductor passing through. I was wondering was he conducting the way we were walking.At one point, I saw this little kid getting 'money' from this wierd looking cashpoint.
Even keying in your pin was automated.
So, we decided to queue up as well.
Very user-friendly cash machine.
Finally, my 100 Neuros to spend at the feast!
Neuros was the currency used at the Market of Optimism.
10 Neuro for a golden egg
M looks so cute here
The guardian of the golden eggs
10 Neuros to dance your worries or despairs away
I prefer to pay 10 Neuros for some essence of childhood
Grow the money tree, joyous delirium or magic beans here. V and I were made to sing a Malaysian song before getting our 'magic' plant so we ended up singing Rasa Sayang and getting sprinkled with red glitter all over our heads. There were special spells that came with the plant for it to work. Mine was, water your plant with 2 cups of tea every morning and fertilize with a spoonful of sugar every Sunday. I don't think it'll survive.
The Magic Lamp stall grant people any number of wishes they want. They just enjoy making a fool out of people. The more wishes you want, the sillier the things they do to you. Which included using the 'super clean' cloth to clean your ears out, making bystanders balance pots on the head and shoulders of the poor fella making the wish.
Big dance group which involved the crowd.
Fancy some brass music?
Spanish stall
There were so many types of food to eat. From Spanish Paella to different types of cheese. I bought the Cranberry flavoured, and Parsley and Garlic flavoured cheese for 4 pounds. I think I'll put on 1kg per block of cheese after finishing them.
Pink motorcycle. Glittery as well.
Hmmm, the Guardian Angel's stall had a deck of cards. Cho Dai Di anyone? Maybe that's how they occupy their time up there.
Most English looking Superlambanana statue.
Another view
He was painting on the spot without any sketches or references to paper plans. Awesome.
First time being able to stand in the middle of the road during the day time without being knocked down. It's because they closed the road for this special occasion.May everyone gain some hope from reading. I know I've gained not only hope but lots of laughter from it.
Thursday 18 September 2008
Where did all the fun go?
When did studying started becoming a chore? When did I start hating school? When did studying become a must and not a choice made from free will?
Nowadays it's rushing for datelines, meeting the grades, achieving the minimum in order to proceed to the next stage. The unwanted pressure + stress + guilt + restrictions that is packaged with it. Does that sound fun to you? To me, guilt from the lack of motivation and not doing any homework or revision is the worst among them.
When we were kids, we learned so much just through playing. We played all day and night. I especially, was not very keen on sleeping as chasing after creepy crawlies in the night time seemed more interesting. That of course, wasn't making my parents very happy.
School then started. Kindergarten was practically a playground for me. Even then, it was 90% of play time and 10% of doing homework. I skipped happily to school each weekday as I will be able to meet so many friends to play with. As the last bell rang, I would feel sad as I couldn't bring my friends back home to continue our game. Homework was fun for me as it became a hobby to collect the different stamps teachers stamp on your workbook once you've completed it. There were dance classes, PE lessons, recess times. I felt that learning was effortless at that time as my brain absorbed everything so quickly.
Soon, a few years into primary school. Studying didn't seem enjoyable anymore. Everyone was graded based on their results. The whole study process became so exam orientated and every single student were judged based on just one single criteria - academic achievement. Thus, the fear and embarrassment from not performing well became more apparent.
It was in Standard 3 that I told my first lie. I told my dad that I got the top 3 in class whereas in actual fact, I was placed at number 8. How guilty I felt! The lie didn't last very long as I made my father promise not to scold me before I revealed it. My life long hatred towards the Chinese language began as well. I started to hate it as I gave up trying to catch up with everyone else but at the same time, struggled with the frustration and disappointment for another 6 years.
Since then, the fun kept decreasing as years go by. Even with the joy and rewards that came with achieving good results, the fun just didn't return.
Will it ever return? I have no idea but I will always welcome it with open arms. Will the time come when I can say that studying is fun?
Nowadays it's rushing for datelines, meeting the grades, achieving the minimum in order to proceed to the next stage. The unwanted pressure + stress + guilt + restrictions that is packaged with it. Does that sound fun to you? To me, guilt from the lack of motivation and not doing any homework or revision is the worst among them.
When we were kids, we learned so much just through playing. We played all day and night. I especially, was not very keen on sleeping as chasing after creepy crawlies in the night time seemed more interesting. That of course, wasn't making my parents very happy.
School then started. Kindergarten was practically a playground for me. Even then, it was 90% of play time and 10% of doing homework. I skipped happily to school each weekday as I will be able to meet so many friends to play with. As the last bell rang, I would feel sad as I couldn't bring my friends back home to continue our game. Homework was fun for me as it became a hobby to collect the different stamps teachers stamp on your workbook once you've completed it. There were dance classes, PE lessons, recess times. I felt that learning was effortless at that time as my brain absorbed everything so quickly.
Soon, a few years into primary school. Studying didn't seem enjoyable anymore. Everyone was graded based on their results. The whole study process became so exam orientated and every single student were judged based on just one single criteria - academic achievement. Thus, the fear and embarrassment from not performing well became more apparent.
It was in Standard 3 that I told my first lie. I told my dad that I got the top 3 in class whereas in actual fact, I was placed at number 8. How guilty I felt! The lie didn't last very long as I made my father promise not to scold me before I revealed it. My life long hatred towards the Chinese language began as well. I started to hate it as I gave up trying to catch up with everyone else but at the same time, struggled with the frustration and disappointment for another 6 years.
Since then, the fun kept decreasing as years go by. Even with the joy and rewards that came with achieving good results, the fun just didn't return.
Will it ever return? I have no idea but I will always welcome it with open arms. Will the time come when I can say that studying is fun?
Saturday 13 September 2008
Some things just cannot be mentioned
"Malaysians of Chinese origin are merely squatting in this country and hence not entitled to equality".
-statement by Datuk Ahmad Ismail
Reading from a 16-page statement, Ahmad, who was surrounded by more than 150 party supporters and state leaders, admitted that he did utter the words but stressed that they were taken out of context by the reporter.
"I said them in relation to the country's history during pre-Merdeka days. I explained how the Chinese, Indians and Malays were treated by the British.
"Yes, I did mention that the Chinese were immigrants. No one can deny that fact.
"Firstly, I want you to know that I am not a racist.
"I have many Chinese and Indian friends. I have no problems with them. I have mixed with the Chinese community since my childhood.
"I am not going to apologise as I do not owe any apology to anyone on this issue. I have done nothing wrong," he said.
The above were taken from New Straits Times website.
Below are my own opinion and may not be 100% accurate.
I was extremely shocked when I came across this news. Of course, the first thought which came to my mind was, 'How can any minister make this type of comment? On top of that, he's a minister!'
As a Malaysian, I am deeply sadden by this incident. One should know better to avoid making these types of statement even if you didn't mean it in that direct sense. Talk to any Malaysians and you'll definitely find out that we've been brought up to respect each other regardless of race or religion. We practice that by firstly, not making any racial statements or doing anything which can ruin the peace and harmony our forefathers have strive so hard to achieve. Datuk Ahmad Ismail should have known better and tackle the issue of the history of immigration during the British rule in a more professional manner, if his claims were true.
Once the harm is done, it's done. There's not taking back your words, the hurt has been inflicted, and yet he's not acting like a gentleman, refusing to give a sincere apology. What I find some times is that, even if you feel that you're not in the wrong, the situation will be better if you apologize first to calm the other party down. This may be wrong in the context of going to trial in a court as you'll be admitting that you've committed the crime. However, this involves the emotions of the people.
Even if he really didn't mean it in that racist sense, again, he should have known better to even construct sentences which could cause a racial uproar and misunderstandings. I believe that if there is no truth, there wouldn't be anything for the journalists to create any stories. Plus, I believe that journalists have a code which they swore by, and one of them was to report the truth of what has happened.
Coming to the news of the arrest of famous bloggers and newspaper journalists under the Internal Security Act (ISA). They were all accused of creating national instability through their reporting and writings. I feel that Datuk Ahmad has done the same, except for the size of the impact he has caused the nation. His punishment, suspension from the political party for 3 years. Any bystanders would feel the unfairness in treatment to them as compared to Datuk Ahmad.
I am only left with a taste of bitterness from this incident. I will refrain from writing anything more in fear of getting the same fate of these bloggers and journalists. Who can we blame for the brain drain happening to Malaysia but the political situation in our country? Sometimes, I get the feeling as though I'm not considered as one of the 'true' Malaysians.
Was there ever a freedom of speech? Maybe when you're not a Malaysian.
"I said them in relation to the country's history during pre-Merdeka days. I explained how the Chinese, Indians and Malays were treated by the British.
"Yes, I did mention that the Chinese were immigrants. No one can deny that fact.
"Firstly, I want you to know that I am not a racist.
"I have many Chinese and Indian friends. I have no problems with them. I have mixed with the Chinese community since my childhood.
"I am not going to apologise as I do not owe any apology to anyone on this issue. I have done nothing wrong," he said.
The above were taken from New Straits Times website.
Below are my own opinion and may not be 100% accurate.
I was extremely shocked when I came across this news. Of course, the first thought which came to my mind was, 'How can any minister make this type of comment? On top of that, he's a minister!'
As a Malaysian, I am deeply sadden by this incident. One should know better to avoid making these types of statement even if you didn't mean it in that direct sense. Talk to any Malaysians and you'll definitely find out that we've been brought up to respect each other regardless of race or religion. We practice that by firstly, not making any racial statements or doing anything which can ruin the peace and harmony our forefathers have strive so hard to achieve. Datuk Ahmad Ismail should have known better and tackle the issue of the history of immigration during the British rule in a more professional manner, if his claims were true.
Once the harm is done, it's done. There's not taking back your words, the hurt has been inflicted, and yet he's not acting like a gentleman, refusing to give a sincere apology. What I find some times is that, even if you feel that you're not in the wrong, the situation will be better if you apologize first to calm the other party down. This may be wrong in the context of going to trial in a court as you'll be admitting that you've committed the crime. However, this involves the emotions of the people.
Even if he really didn't mean it in that racist sense, again, he should have known better to even construct sentences which could cause a racial uproar and misunderstandings. I believe that if there is no truth, there wouldn't be anything for the journalists to create any stories. Plus, I believe that journalists have a code which they swore by, and one of them was to report the truth of what has happened.
Coming to the news of the arrest of famous bloggers and newspaper journalists under the Internal Security Act (ISA). They were all accused of creating national instability through their reporting and writings. I feel that Datuk Ahmad has done the same, except for the size of the impact he has caused the nation. His punishment, suspension from the political party for 3 years. Any bystanders would feel the unfairness in treatment to them as compared to Datuk Ahmad.
I am only left with a taste of bitterness from this incident. I will refrain from writing anything more in fear of getting the same fate of these bloggers and journalists. Who can we blame for the brain drain happening to Malaysia but the political situation in our country? Sometimes, I get the feeling as though I'm not considered as one of the 'true' Malaysians.
Was there ever a freedom of speech? Maybe when you're not a Malaysian.
Cambodia - Siam Reap Day 1
Best thing to do when you don't have mood to revise. Blog about my summer trip! I've divided the entry for Cambodia into a few parts as we've done a good job covering so many things in a single day. This is why following tours are so effective. It is advisable to follow tour to undeveloped South East Asian countries for your own safety.
Woke up around 3.00am in the morning to make it to KL Central at 4.15am to catch the RM9 bus service to Low Cost Carrier Terminal. Finally, we took off at 8am and reached Siam Reap at 9.30am (local time - they are 1 hour earlier compared to Malaysia)
Finally, my photo with AirAsia's plane. I was told off for helping my friends to take a group photo on our previous trip to Sabah and Sarawak last time.
We met out tour guide and was sent to our hotel to check-in.
4 star hotel in Siam Reap. I have no complaints about the place. It was lovely, good service and of course, good food for buffet breakfast as well.
Our tour guide picked us up around 10am and we headed off to our first destinate: Tonle Sap Lake. It is South East Asia's largest fresh water lake. I used to hate Geography a lot and at that moment, I was thinking, I should have visited Cambodia when I was in secondary school. How easy and interesting will it make Geography then.
So, basically, a small group of population lives in boat houses. Even the schools, churches, shops were afloat. The lake's water cannot be consumed but can be used for taking a bath, washing, etc.
There was a boat turned into a crocodile and fish farm. There were also souvenirs on sale there.
View from atop the crocodile farm. Siam Reap's flag is so unique in that it has the symbol of Angkor Wat on it.
Floating sundry shop. There were smaller boats carrying groceries for sale stopping by every boat house to sell things.
There were fishing nets installed to catch fish as well. Here, the fishermen are getting the trapped fish out of the net.
Lunch was at a Chinese restaurant.
What can I say, it was a filling meal with 10 dishes and I've only shown a part of it.
Next we were told that the tour operator has arranged a complimentary full body massage for all of us. It was my first time having a full body massage and don't ever invite or give me any free vouchers for full body massages ever again.
For those who has never had a full body massage, you might want to continue reading this paragraph. First, they wash your feet with soap and water. After that, they'll ask you to change into a comfortable T-shirt and long pants. Then, the torture begins. I was practically squirming as it was really ticklish and at times, painful. The worse part was, I wanted to laugh so badly but everyone else were so quiet. All the masseurs were very skillful and professional but I'm sorry, I seriously cannot appreciate it. After an hour long of torture, you can change back into your clothes and then they'll serve you hot tea. Phew, I was glad that was over.
Next, we visited one of the memorial monuments which contained the skulls of victims brutally killed during the Poi Pot rule. There are so many of these monuments all around Cambodia to remind the present of the cruel past they had.
Very sad place
Next, we went to a Gem stone outlet. We were taught how to grade the Rubies, Sapphires, etc. It was very expensive so, I'll decide next time after I've earned enough to be able to afford them.
I thought that the pink ones looked unique but they were among the cheapest here.
Finally, we made our way to Kingdom Angkor. We had to get out photos taken to make our passes.
Took a photo of the map, just in case I get lost.
That day, we had to make our way up Bakheng Hill to watch the sunset at 6pm. Get ready. It's not a piece of cake to go up this hill.
The steps were made very narrow on purpose as it was deemed unpolite to show your back towards the Gods in the temple in the past. Therefore, it forces you to climb sideways. The temple wasn't that high and I think it took me about 15 minutes, including the time taking photos on the way.
It was worth it going up all the way as the view on the mountain top was lovely.
While waiting for sunset, we walked around snapping photos.
Poor lion statue, it has been damaged by the weather and time.
One of the pillars on the corner of the hill.
Another view
Hiding in the shade, wondering what's for dinner.
This was what we were waiting for!
One of the loveliest sunsets I've seen so far!
Oh yes, you can even pay 25 US dollars to ride the elephant from the starting point to the foot of the mountain. Sadly, elephants can't climb to the peak of Bakheng Hill.
That is me after climbing down. Very tired by then.
We made our way down the hill early before everyone starts rushing down. It was getting dark really quickly by then. As M and I were early, we had a look around the foot of the hill.
Wonder what type of building this entrance is suppose to lead to?
For our dinner, we were having it together with a cultural show. I was really happy to know that it was buffet style as well.
First plate. It was an assortment of different types of food.
Second bowl: I think it was Japanese style soup noodles with seafood, other meat, vegetables and tofu. I really liked the soup as it is the best I've tasted.
3rd helping: I had expected it to sweet but it was savory. I would have had another few more if I wasn't that full by then.
Cultural show. I thought that the dances were very similar to the Thai dances. I guess it's because Cambodia and Thailand are neighbors.
Next entry will be very interesting as we'll be visiting a few temples in Kingdom Angkor.
Woke up around 3.00am in the morning to make it to KL Central at 4.15am to catch the RM9 bus service to Low Cost Carrier Terminal. Finally, we took off at 8am and reached Siam Reap at 9.30am (local time - they are 1 hour earlier compared to Malaysia)
Finally, my photo with AirAsia's plane. I was told off for helping my friends to take a group photo on our previous trip to Sabah and Sarawak last time.We met out tour guide and was sent to our hotel to check-in.
4 star hotel in Siam Reap. I have no complaints about the place. It was lovely, good service and of course, good food for buffet breakfast as well.Our tour guide picked us up around 10am and we headed off to our first destinate: Tonle Sap Lake. It is South East Asia's largest fresh water lake. I used to hate Geography a lot and at that moment, I was thinking, I should have visited Cambodia when I was in secondary school. How easy and interesting will it make Geography then.
So, basically, a small group of population lives in boat houses. Even the schools, churches, shops were afloat. The lake's water cannot be consumed but can be used for taking a bath, washing, etc.
There was a boat turned into a crocodile and fish farm. There were also souvenirs on sale there.
View from atop the crocodile farm. Siam Reap's flag is so unique in that it has the symbol of Angkor Wat on it.
Floating sundry shop. There were smaller boats carrying groceries for sale stopping by every boat house to sell things.
There were fishing nets installed to catch fish as well. Here, the fishermen are getting the trapped fish out of the net.Lunch was at a Chinese restaurant.
What can I say, it was a filling meal with 10 dishes and I've only shown a part of it.Next we were told that the tour operator has arranged a complimentary full body massage for all of us. It was my first time having a full body massage and don't ever invite or give me any free vouchers for full body massages ever again.
For those who has never had a full body massage, you might want to continue reading this paragraph. First, they wash your feet with soap and water. After that, they'll ask you to change into a comfortable T-shirt and long pants. Then, the torture begins. I was practically squirming as it was really ticklish and at times, painful. The worse part was, I wanted to laugh so badly but everyone else were so quiet. All the masseurs were very skillful and professional but I'm sorry, I seriously cannot appreciate it. After an hour long of torture, you can change back into your clothes and then they'll serve you hot tea. Phew, I was glad that was over.
Next, we visited one of the memorial monuments which contained the skulls of victims brutally killed during the Poi Pot rule. There are so many of these monuments all around Cambodia to remind the present of the cruel past they had.
Very sad placeNext, we went to a Gem stone outlet. We were taught how to grade the Rubies, Sapphires, etc. It was very expensive so, I'll decide next time after I've earned enough to be able to afford them.
I thought that the pink ones looked unique but they were among the cheapest here.Finally, we made our way to Kingdom Angkor. We had to get out photos taken to make our passes.
Took a photo of the map, just in case I get lost.That day, we had to make our way up Bakheng Hill to watch the sunset at 6pm. Get ready. It's not a piece of cake to go up this hill.
The steps were made very narrow on purpose as it was deemed unpolite to show your back towards the Gods in the temple in the past. Therefore, it forces you to climb sideways. The temple wasn't that high and I think it took me about 15 minutes, including the time taking photos on the way.It was worth it going up all the way as the view on the mountain top was lovely.
While waiting for sunset, we walked around snapping photos.
Poor lion statue, it has been damaged by the weather and time.
One of the pillars on the corner of the hill.
Another view
Hiding in the shade, wondering what's for dinner.
This was what we were waiting for!
One of the loveliest sunsets I've seen so far!
Oh yes, you can even pay 25 US dollars to ride the elephant from the starting point to the foot of the mountain. Sadly, elephants can't climb to the peak of Bakheng Hill.
That is me after climbing down. Very tired by then.We made our way down the hill early before everyone starts rushing down. It was getting dark really quickly by then. As M and I were early, we had a look around the foot of the hill.
Wonder what type of building this entrance is suppose to lead to?For our dinner, we were having it together with a cultural show. I was really happy to know that it was buffet style as well.
First plate. It was an assortment of different types of food.
Second bowl: I think it was Japanese style soup noodles with seafood, other meat, vegetables and tofu. I really liked the soup as it is the best I've tasted.
3rd helping: I had expected it to sweet but it was savory. I would have had another few more if I wasn't that full by then.
Cultural show. I thought that the dances were very similar to the Thai dances. I guess it's because Cambodia and Thailand are neighbors.Next entry will be very interesting as we'll be visiting a few temples in Kingdom Angkor.
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