I wonder why...

students applying for medical school are never assessed for their physical stamina as this was what's going to keep you awake and alert for 36 hours oncalls at least 7 times a month as a HO in Malaysia. Now I'm really pushing my glycogen reserve to the maximum after missing lunch, dinner and breakfast. Poor liver. At least I managed to catch 3 hours of sleep.

HO in other hospitals get to tag the more senior HO for 2 weeks before they're let off into the wild. Here in UM, I was already put oncall on my 5th day of work. Tag, what tag? I was expected to know everything right from the start which I felt was very unfair. Even simple U&Es are called BUSE (blood urea serum electrolyte) here. Then what's the difference from renal profile? Hmmm...will find out later. Maybe RP tests more electrolytes.

I remembered that it was not easy to get a Depression history as you had to go to the isolated psychiatric building, made to carry a keyring which can toggle off the alarm if the patient became aggressive, had to wait for a nurse or doctor to let you through those prison-looking doors with Pentagon level of security, when all you had to look for was just any new HO in Malaysia. I haven't come across anyone in my hospital who was very happy and motivated when they first started out. Depressed HOs? Yes, 99.9%.

So, some tips on surviving the first week:

1. Try to familiarise yourself with the layout of the hospital especially if you're really slow on the job. You don't want to waste more time getting lost while you're oncall.
2. Pack loads and loads of biscuits or instant food in your bag. If possible, in your lab coat as most of the time, you don't have the privilege of having a proper meal.
3. Be prepared to be scolded, ridiculed, scowled at not only from your MO but from nurses who you pleaded for their help in assisting you in the middle of the night.
4. See 1, do 1. Most of the time, listen to the instructions for practical procedures over the phone or read them off a paper and then off you go and do without supervision. I pity all my guinea pigs.
5. Accept the fact that you're not a human but a robot who is still very accurate even without charging the batteries.
6. Master the art of listening through one ear and letting the information pass through the other. Especially when the transmitter's volume is above noise pollution level. Meanwhile, transport your mind to somewhere else when you felt happiest. Make sure your facial expression stays serious and don't start smiling stupidly. I did that once this morning and had to call my super duper annoyed MO again to reconfirm the rate of blood transfusion for my patient. Haih....

Will I survive another day? What if I quit medicine? Why did I even graduate from medical school?

I've been battling with all these thoughts since the first day I stepped into my working life. How much longer can I bear it? I seriously don't know and don't want to think about it.

Next oncall: Tuesday and I'm dreading it every single moment.

A new chapter

Here I am, typing away on my laptop on the hotel couch, pondering the challenges ahead, wondering if I can survive the next 2 lifeless years. My induction ends tomorrow after a 1.5 hours BTN test on how well one knows Malaysia. I'm still clueless as to how am I going to pass this test after a mere 4 hours lecture and a 2 hour long (to be more precise, 2 hours and 9 minutes) movie which ended with both the main actor and actresses asking each other,

'Kau masih nak aku?'

For those who are interested, the movie title was 'Hati Malaya'.

By the way, I feel really lucky to be allocated my first choice of hospital, which is University Malaya Medical Centre (UMMC or PPUM) and I'll be reporting for duty at 8.30am on Monday. 3 more days and counting down to the start of the horror. Not only that, I heard that the O&G department are lacking of housemans at the moment. Noooooo.....I don't want to start on the most difficult rotation!

2 years, it's just 2 years. 2 years of training to turn me from a useless fresh grad to a super doctor. I wonder if it really works? I would believe it more if it were to turn someone into a nutcase with the 7 till 10 working hours and 36 hours on-calls. I think I'll make an appointment with the counselor on my first day to see her after a week.

I don't know how much longer can I continue blogging. I hope that 1 fine day, I can look back at this entry and laugh at my own stupidity at this moment.

Finally

The letter of doom arrived today at 1.20pm via Postlaju. According to the records, it's been sent on the 8th October which was Friday but due to the maximum snail speed that it can travel, it only arrived today.

Induction in Malacca, 18th October 2010. I'll only find out where will I be posted after 11pm that day.

As I was reading through the first page, suddenly, it all went dark, silent and even the air became so still. No electricity!!!!!!!

I wonder what came together in that brown envelope. I suspect it's not only the documents relating to my induction. How powerful.

Luckily, the power cut lasted only an hour. I almost died from the heat of 37 degree Celsius.

Goodbye carefree days, so long 8 hours of sleep, farewell afternoon naps.

While waiting.....

for the letter of doom, which I'm informed that it'll arrive after the 8th bringing news about the start of my misery from the 18th. I've been keeping myself occupied with...

2 AGMs

E&O AGM- Went there, no door gift, drank a cup of tea, then went back to.....

Maybank AGM - where I had a good laugh at some of the questions and comments from the floor and witnessed how Malaysians rush for food when the doors to the buffet opened like there's a long famine going on in the country. I was really hard hit by the fact that I'm back in Malaysia. Queues weren't followed, people pushing and fighting to get the plates and dishes. Some even came with plastic bags and Tupperware to take away when not everyone has taken their share yet. Welcome to uncivilised Malaysia! When will it be a time when I can proudly say that I'm a Malaysian?

ECM Libra 4Q10 Investment talk:

It was held at Equatorial Hotel in KL and the breakfast was delicious!

This programme is highly recommended as it gives a very good insight to the direction of the Malaysian share market and also recommends stocks to watch out for.

Right after that, I rushed off to trader's club meeting at ChartNexus. Phew, only managed to have lunch at almost 4 in the afternoon. Training for HO.

I found out that many of my friends have received their induction letter which will be held next week. I myself was allocated to the following week's group so I'll have an extra week off. Feel a bit left out but at least I can polish up my skills in investment in the meantime.