Qing Ming Jie

Qing Ming Jie means Clear and Bright Festival in direct translation, or it is also called Tomb Sweeping Day in English. It falls on the 4th of April this year (just realised that it is a leap year) and it does bring back lots of memories. It is a day when Chinese visit the ancestors' graveyards to remember and honour them.

Prior to the actual day years back, I remembered helping my grandmother fold yellow pieces of joss paper into something which is shaped like a gold ingot. First, you roll it into a tube, then press the ends in making the top part wider and sharper compared to the lower part. I think this is one of the easiest method of making it. There are other more complicated ways. We managed to make 2 big plastic bags of that paper ingots after half an hour.

Since my family moved back to Kuala Lumpur, my mum and dad wakes up very early on the day itself. They will go with my other relatives to the grave of my maternal grandfather to clear the wild grass and tidy up the tomb. Usually they'll pay somebody to help with the trimming of the grass which is a wise move considering how thick undisturbed wild grass can get. Imagine, there's even business opportunity for some people on that day.

After cleaning the grave. they'll then offer tea, wine, food, and burn the paper ingots and other paper replica of things which they will want to offer to the dead. Too bad they never brought me or my sister along before. It would be interesting for me to witness all these rituals personally.

I have always been fascinated by the creativity and modernisation of paper replicas which are produced nowadays. A local Malaysian newspaper reported that the Astro decoder (this is used to receive direct-to-home satellite television in Malaysia) is a hot selling paper offering for Qing Ming this year. Now I'm wondering if broadcast signal could be received in Hell as well? Other types of paper offering include cars, houses, platinum credit cards, make-up, wine, cigarettes, mobile phones etc. They can be of actual sizes or scaled down. (An issue of open burning just crossed my mind, but tradition is tradition, we cannot ban it.)

Talking about mobile phones, I came across the DIY paper offering for Apple Iphone from Studio Leung.
I bet there's even Nintendo Wii or Playstation 3. Maybe MacBook Air as well. I think I would just burn a bank containing a lot of hell money for my ancestor so that they can just buy what they really want. It's just me worrying if they didn't know how to use the mobile phone, or maybe the games that came along with the Nintendo doesn't suit their taste. (Mental note: include instruction manual and warranty card as well) Who knows they prefer to have a new computer with the fastest wireless modem so that they can play Dota with each other instead?

It is only after coming to the UK that I realise how unique and variable Malaysian festivals are and the impact that they have on me. I guess no matter how far you go, your roots will always anchor you to home.

I grew wiser today

'I grew wiser today'

'How do you know?'

'My wisdom tooth started to sprout today'

(I told this to a few people and the only person who almost strangled me after I said this was my ex-room mate cause I disturbed her while she was revising)

I don't know why it is always during that stressful period when I'm preparing for an exam that one of my wisdom tooth which hasn't erupted decides to show itself.

This happened for the 3rd time last Tuesday when I was preparing for my formative exams which just finished today. The exams were really difficult and I know that I need to put in more effort after this.

This time around, it was my upper left wisdom tooth which decided to show itself. It was pressing onto my lower gum which was still wisdom toothless cause it to swell. So painful!!!! It was even ulcerating and bled on brushing. My previous introduction to my other 2 wisdom tooth never involved any problem at all, until this 3rd one came along.

It was painful if anything pressed on it. It even hurts if I tried opening my mouth a bit wider. Too bad it didn't reduce my appetite. If not, I might have been able to lose some weight. Been piling up on the pounds since winter. Papa, mama and Mona, if you're reading this, I'm not sure if you'll be able to recognise me or not this summer.

I bumped into a 5th year dentistry student on the 3rd day of my suffering and I asked for his advice.

'How long will it take to heal?'

'Oh. Usually it take 2 - 3......'

(I was expecting him to say days but to my horror')

'...weeks up to a month for the gum to keratinize. If you're still having problem with it by then, I advice you to see your dentist.'

'If I saw a dentist now, will he/she be able to do anything for me?'

'There's nothing much which they can do now. They may extract it if it's giving you too much problem.'

Haih. So sad. I wouldn't want to opt for extracting. Already started to dread all the torture which I need to endure at each meal. But luckily for me, the swelling went down on the 5th day and after a week, it's fully healed now.

..................

After the last paper today, my friends and I decided to go down to town. At first, we wanted to try out the waffles at the newly opened Waffle House, but since one of them pulled out at the last minute, we decided to save it for another day.

Went to The Egg vegetarian restaurant again.

I ordered Tandoori mushrooms (lower left picture) served with salad and Naan bread which was delicious! I didn't know mushrooms could taste like that. My friends ordered spicy burger and something else which I've forgotten the name. With the lovely atmosphere, not too crowded and light purple themed decorations, it was a lovely place to chill out.

Best part, DESSERTS:

Chocolate cake with fresh cream. We ordered one piece, but the waiter was so nice that he gave us 2. A bit too sweet for my liking though.

Best banana cake which I've tasted so far! It doesn't really look like banana cake from the cranberry jam spread on top. But it tasted so delicious. Would love to have it again in future. Thanks F for the treat.

Feeling so tired after window shopping at town after lunch. Need to get a start on my SSM before I see my convenor this Friday. Already looking forward to the next holiday, when I finally go back to Malaysia. I do have a feeling that I may not be going back in the summer of 4th year though. There's still too many places to travel!

Child Prodigy - a blessing or curse?

Remember the news about a sweet little girl who went to Oxford University at the tender age of 13 and gone missing at the age of 15?

Taken from my 2nd source below

Recently, she was found to be working as a prostitute in Manchester. Full story at:

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/3003_hooker.shtml (Warning: Images need more censoring for younger readers)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/portal/main.jhtml?xml=/portal/2008/04/01/ftgenius101.xml (Suitable for all ages)

It is a very sad story. I'm sure all of you would have formed some opinion towards her, wondering why of all things she could do to earn a living she had to turn to prostitution. The reason can be quite similar to why some people turn to drugs when they've reached pit bottom.

I'm not even sure if she's genuinely a child prodigy after reading about the brutal methods used by her father to nurture her into the so called 'math genius'. Imagine having the house ice cold 24 hours, woken abruptly by punches in the mornings, no television or pop music, making mathematics the main aim in life etc.. I cannot bear to go through all those just to excel in something.

Gaining that reputation of a child prodigy means having to accept all the pressure from expectations to perform even better. This pressure can be so great that it causes nervous breakdowns. For a girl of 13, living in her type of environment doesn't help cope with it at all.

Let me ask you something. Who truly benefited from all the hype and fame gained when Sufiah Yusof went to Oxford University? Was she truly happy to get to where she did? What she truly happy to wear that mortarboard? Her father on the other hand, became famous for his teaching method and many flocked to him and blindly handed him their children to be 'manufactured' into prodigies.
Right from the start, it wasn't about his daughter at all. It was all for his own benefit.

The lost childhood, the mental and physical strains tearing up the soul of this little girl, who wouldn't want to run away from home when you get the chance? She was unlucky not to have come across someone who could tend her wounds, someone who could guided her in the right direction, she was unlucky to have such a 'loving' family. She was so vulnerable yet nobody could reach her.

Child prodigies are rare and so different from us that society only knows how to worship and admire them from afar but have we tried to understand their true needs from us? Have we even wondered if they wanted to be treated like that? A blessing or curse? I'll leave you to decide for yourselves.

A very interesting article on child prodigies by Time:
http://www.time.com/time/asia/covers/501030217/story.html

Summer Time

Summer Time
Takes away one hour
Moves the hands of time keepers
Laughs evilly as it steals my extra sleep
Starts today.

Hujan Gig at Zanzibar

Hujan is a Malaysian band coming all the way to UK to promote at a few places and they stopped by Liverpool on the 29th of March 2008.

It seemed like even the weather was welcoming Hujan to Liverpool as it rained a few times yesterday. At first I didn't want to go, but since most of my house mates are going, and it will be an excuse for not revising, I went in the end.

Me, after 15 minutes of make-up. Sorry ML and S. I still don't know how to put the eye liner.

We walked to town, the ground was still wet from the afternoon rain. Then, it started drizzling which got heavier and heavier. Next time, if there's a band called 'La Nina' or 'Thunderstorm', don't invite me, ok?

We reached the place wet and cold. Paid the 4 pounds entrance only to find out that Hujan's performance will be the last, after 5 local band. I thought that they would be performing at 8.30pm. Never mind, since I've came all the way.

The place was quite small and most of the seats were taken. Squeezed between my friends but half of my butt was hanging in the air.

There were 5 performances before the Malaysian bands take the stage. It ranged from heavy metal to ballads, bands to solo performers. At least there was a variety.Started with this heavy metal band. The main singer, as you can see, has really long curly hair which he kept on tossing it up, down, and sideways as he shook his head vigorously. With heavy metal, you cannot miss out on the screaming which I wondered if he'd have a sore throat after each performance.

The funniest part was, as his 2nd song ended, one Chinese girl in the audience exclaimed, "Isn't he tired?!" in Mandarin. I guess she never would have expected the song to end at that very moment.

Video compilation of the local performances:



I really liked the duet performance coming from a girl and a guitarist (Picture: top row on the right). The songs were ballads, and I don't usually have a liking towards slow songs. However, his guitar skills were mesmerizing! Too bad I don't have a recording of the part where he played so skilfully.

Finally, it was soon the opening act by our local Malaysian band. It was almost midnight and some people at the gig were getting drunk.

I was leaning against the staircase waiting for the anticipated performance when this guy came up to me, extended his hand, so, not wanting to offend him, I just gave him a handshake. Then he put his face so close to me, expecting a kiss. I was like, don't come any closer and wished that I could just disappear from the spot. I could even smell the alcohol from him as he was that close. I told him 'sorry' and luckily he moved away. Then he went to disturb other people. I can't believe this happened even when I was standing with my friends. Scary!

Finally, the opening act. I was impressed that they sang a song in Spanish, I think. Sorry, I don't know how to identify what language it was.

Video clip of the opening act:



Their performance wasn't bad at all. At least the type of music appealed to the locals who stayed on. Funny how you know all these people before and then see them performing on stage. I was impressed.

I thought my worries were over for that night, when the same drunk guy came back right before Hujan's performance. I quickly ran to hide behind my friend. Luckily that was the last time I saw him.

Crowd suddenly grew restless, Hujan was getting ready on stage!
I can say that their performance looked more professional compared to our local Malaysian band consisting of students studying here. More movement and audience engagement.

However, they do say some really lame stuff. Like for one performance, they halted suddenly.

Pause.

Main singer approached the mike

' I see swimming pool'

Whole band continued jamming as he ended that sentence.

What the.......

I don't know if that's the effect that they wanted to create among the audience but I just think that it's not helping them to sell their image.

Worse part was, they don't know how to converse in English properly. Which is a big shame towards Malaysians as we do study English as our 2nd language. Plus, they've been planning to tour around the UK since ages ago. At least improve on basic conversation phrases with the audience. I wonder what kind of impression the locals will have on us. I don't think it helps with our strive towards the status of a developed nation.

I don't mind that the songs are in Malay. If the melody is great and the performance is awesome, people foreign to the language can still enjoy them. That's why I like Japanese and Korean songs. But at least learn some proper English before you come over to perform. Now I wonder who their target audience are? Malaysians in the UK only? Hmmm.

Enough said about that. I really did enjoy their performance. Melody was plentiful, vocals not bad, stage presence good, songs were not very catchy though.

I'm sceptical about their success in breaking into the UK market. For a band singing in a language besides English, their only form of appeal will be looks, skills, and music. Only time will tell.

One of their performance for that night:

Battle with Sleep

Tick, tick, tick, tick,
My table clock went as it counted each passing second.
The night was just too peaceful,
Too serene to keep me awake.

The streets are so quiet,
Crickets playing their usual symphony.
Only my room was lit,
Accompanying the street lights at this graveyard hour.

Sleep, that dreaded temptation,
Cautiously extending its arms.
Wrapping itself around me,
Welcoming me to the land of dreams.

No, I must fight it,
Fighting for my life seemed so much easier.
Losing consciousness, I was confronted by Regret,
No! I don't want to be embraced by you yet.

Forcing my eyes open,
I was greeted by my messy table.
Strewn with books and writing materials,
Accumulated from days before.

Sat on a small corner,
A mug half filled with brown liquid.
I realised it didn't give out it's usual scent,
Must have turned cold after its battle with sleep.

Where did I left off?
Struggling to focus my vision.
Sleep was still knocking on the door,
The battle has yet to be won.

Response to Plight of JPA Medical Scholars

Posted on Lim Kit Siang's Blog:
http://blog.limkitsiang.com/2008/03/23/plight-of-jpa-medical-scholars/

Frustrated JPA scholar's arguments:

• JPA's sudden change in policy that JPA scholars must immediately return to the country upon graduation is unfair
• Ridiculous reasons accepted for prolonging stay after graduation e.g. married to other scholars who are still commencing studies in oversea country concerned
  
• Ruin opportunity for sufficient exposure, experience and postgraduate training therefore waste tax players' money
• Lack of opportunity and funding to do research work in Malaysia
• Housemanship placements in Malaysia is random and does not consider academic achievements
• Malaysia is not able to cope with providing good standards of housemanship training to the many doctors who will be qualifying.
  
• Sceptical of specialist training opportunities in Malaysia
  
• Nothing wrong with wanting to earn in foreign currency and putting emphasis on career advancements
• Many of JPA policy makers are not doctors themselves, therefore, do not understand the situation
• Better to return to Malaysia only when received adequate oversea exposure to first world healthcare thus, will benefit the citizens more.
• To retain JPA scholars in government sector, more lucrative benefits like improved pay, fairness by meritocracy and adequate training opportunities should be installed.
  

It is very interesting to know that some JPA scholar is brave enough to challenge JPA openly concerning this 'hot' issue. Below are just my own thoughts about it and it will be up to you to form your own opinion. I may not be right in everything.

The changing policies of JPA. Too bad that I don't study law and I'm really shallow in this topic. But I remembered coming across a paragraph on the agreement about JPA is allowed to change the term and condition. I'll leave this to the lawyers to argue it out.

I do agree that JPA has some really weird policies especially concerning the reason accepted for prolonging the stay. What can I say about this, it is a loop hole in their system and it can be exploited to your benefit. It only depends on how far you're willing to go. You have to know the rules and play by the rules, get the meaning behind this?

Talking about gaining experience. It no doubt that studying oversea allows you to gain a different kind of experience as compared to training in Malaysia. However, think of the long term. No matter how long you try to escape, you'll have to go back to serve that 10 year bond. In order for patients to benefit, the doctor must be familiar with the local situation viz. diseases, health delivery system, hospital policies etc. It will be useless if you only know about oversea policies and situation and being very ignorant about the local healthcare which you will be serving in future. One thing is, we don't have the NHS in Malaysia which means we have to take into account the financial situation of patients before deciding their treatment etc. Another important thing is, we don't learn about tropical diseases which are a common diagnosis in a clinical setting in Malaysia. Therefore, I cannot deny that oversea doctors do lack in experience as compared to our local counterparts.

About training opportunities, I cannot say much about this as I have limited exposure to the healthcare situation in Malaysia. I'll be doing my electives this summer for 5 weeks and I hope to gain some insight to this. In the UK, there's the change in the immigration rules cutting down opportunities for international students who completed their training in UK universities for specialist training. They're giving priority to UK undergrads first, followed by EU undergrads and whatever is left behind will then only be opened to international undergrads. So, for those who are considering to continue to work and specialise in the UK, you all have to think twice.

So, will the future be brighter for those who goes back to Malaysia for their housemanship training? It is a difficult question to answer. There are different point of views, some say it is still easier if you have underwent UK training to specialise and it will be more difficult if you conducted your housemanship training elsewhere. But come to think of it, by going back to Malaysia, you can chose to apply to specialise in any parts of the world in future, not to forget, in Malaysia as well. The main concern will only be, is that degree recognised worldwide?

Looking through JPA's website, they do offer further scholarship for those who wish to pursue higher qualifications:

http://www.jpa.gov.my/english/sajprof.asp

There are term and conditions and I cannot say for sure if they apply for medicine as well. So, aim hard for 1st class or honours.

Most of us are afraid to return to Malaysia for housemanship due to the horror stories we've heard. That's including the inhumane working hours, low pay, being sent to small villages or outskirts with lack of facilities and entertainment, etc.

All of us are afraid of hardships. I will definitely be disappointed if I were to be sent to a deserted village for my housemanship as I can foresee the hardship adapting to the living environment and worries about the lack in medical facilities. But what if nobody wants to go there? What will happen to the people living there? I think the only way to solve this problem is to routinely rotate doctors to be posted there and not give a life sentence to the poor doctor chosen to serve there forever. If we know the maximum length of posting, I don't think we'll be too reluctant to serve there. We cannot always receive and not give something back in return. The government on the other hand, cannot just exploit and not reward the doctors appropriately. We do need the motivation!

I am no saint, therefore, it will be difficult for me to say that I study medicine in order to save and improve people's quality of life and that monetary rewards and future opportunities do not matter. Come to think of it, most things I've said at interviews and personal statements are lies. I'm a hypocrite! But life is such that we cannot just merely survive on personal satisfaction and patient's gratitudes. Basic necessities itself needs to be bought with money. To get a degree involves fess. To travel to hospital and back involved travel costs. Why is that we have fund raising activities for good causes? Everything is money in this world. Therefore, I don't think we can be blamed for wanting to earn more provided we give something back to Malaysia in return. We have been given this golden opportunity and we should appreciate it.

I do feel that it is a good step for JPA in sending students to pursue their studies overseas it is not a waste of tax payer's money. It allows us to widen our horizons, learn the good points from other countries, and change our mindset for the better. At the end of the day, I do think that the knowledge and experiences we bring back will be beneficial and that they will slowly influence and shape the future generations.

My views maybe naive and some of you may disagree with it. I apologize if I have offended anyone in this posting.

Jack of All Trades vs Master of One

I do envy people who excel in all sorts of aspects. These are the lucky people who have realised their talents and have worked hard to nourish them. How nice if I had a skill or talent which I can be proud of?

Sadly, I am one of the species of Jack of all trades. I cannot even be proud of that as my knowledge and skills are so limited! If I had the ability to know a lot, at least I can excel at being the best Jack of all trades.

Life is unfair at times. Society will only allow the person who excels in something to stand out from the rest - the Masters of One (or many for those really gifted and hardworking ones).

You can't escape that competition to stand out no matter how hard you try as people are judging and comparing you to others throughout your whole life.

Compare and compare. We do it all the time. The person who does something best will be identified soon enough. Here is the start of all the envy, jealousy, low self-esteem, admiration, motivation, yearning to be like others.

What about the Jack of all trades?
You can do that? I can do that as well. Nothing to be envy about. Agree?

I don't think so.

I envy people for things I don't have. I will envy a Jack of all trades who knows more than me. In other words, I will envy people who are better than me. Of course, I will be dazzled by Masters of One cause they're so good at it.

I know friends who don't feel that they're special but they are so wrong. It is always difficult to realise and identify your own ability which you're good at. The thing which we always forget is that even your personality, way of thinking, interpersonal skills, etc. can be the object of someone's admiration. It is not always about the physical appearance, what grades, what qualifications, what property you own that can make others envy. I don't know about you, but I envy people for so many things. Sometimes, they just need that little push on their backs to build up their confidence.

I can say that I am greedy in that I want to have all these qualities that others have and I'm trying to learn from them. If I was so contented, I wouldn't think that I would go far in life!

Everyone is special, that I believe. You just need to realise that and be more confident in yourself. Plus, at the same time, work on other aspects which you lack. That's the only way we can improve.

I would like to change how society works, still worshipping the Masters of One and neglecting the Jacks of all trades, but that change will never happen. What can we do?

• Try our best to make the most out of life
• Receive all criticisms with an open mind
• Improve, improve and improve
• Set goals and work your way towards it. There is opportunity everywhere, you just need to find it
  
• Most importantly, live life without regrets

Now, back to studying but I doubt that I can see my results without regrets. Haih.....so much for all I've said.

I hope that this can threaten me a bit

Get ransom on fancygens.com

It's that moment when there's no motivation to do work.

The peak of holiday withdrawal when the holidays are not even over.

What to do? Datelines are approaching, exams coming up real soon. Arrrggghhhhhh!!!!!

Have to force myself to go back to work.

I do think that the donkey chasing the carrot is more motivated than me.

Now, where's this carrot of mine when I need it?

Dublin Through Pictures Part 2

After what S commented in my previous post, I couldn't skip this part of the trip which I was planning to skip past. The makeover. Had to follow instructions on how to pose some more. Torturing lah. But the end result:
They even made a video of it but I won't be posting it here. Let them do what they want with it. They should consider changing profession already.

Next day, we continued with the tour of the city and then the day tour to Wicklow.


Our bus driver/ tour guide was really jolly and talkative. Too bad that his tone of voice of monotonous and I did slept off a few times during the tour.

Our first stop was Glencree valley, which means Valley of the Heart. There was a lovely Lilac coloured cafe there and a German cemetery.


Our tour guide told us that Prince Charles planted a tree during his visit here and asked us to look for it. In the end, he said, shortly after the tree was planted, a sheep came along and ate it. Then being Irish, they just planted another one and didn't inform him.

We passed by famous filming spots in the Wicklow Mountains. Brave Heart was filmed here instead of Scotland.

Sally Gap

Did you notice the plant which looked like dry grass covering the ground, they call it wild bog lands and the thing which I'm holding is compact bog used as fuel. Now I'm wondering if I can just compact any soil and use it as fuel...hmmm.

This part is Guiness's land. See how the black lake with sand on top look like a pint of Guiness? Now, if you're wondering how did the sand get to this lake high up in the mountains, our guide told us that Guiness transported sand from a beach in France which they owned all the way here just to create that effect. Now, this is what I call for the sake of art!

Glandalough:

Round tower where the entrance to it was about 3 metres high.St. Kevin's Chapel

The story of this Chapel was that there was once 30 Austrians went into this Chapel and started singing. Their voices could be heard 2 miles away at Avoca village and the villagers couldn't figure out where did the sound come from. Amazing! The whole structure was fully built from stones, including the roof. The roof let light in but not water.

We had a long walk through Glendalough, passing beautiful lakes and scenery. Some of the photos really looked like I was cut and pasted into them.


Reached Meeting of the Waters :This was taken from a souvenir shop as ML and I wanted to buy some souvenir even if the stop was just for 10 minutes.

Finally, after feeling really hungry, we stopped at Avoca village for lunch. I think they really like Lilac colour as the cafe we ate in was coloured in Lilac.

Due to great hunger, the food was finished before we remembered about taking photos first. Never mind, service was excellent, the Irish beef stew which I ordered was delicious. Having warm food in this cold weather was like heaven to me.Houses in this village was very cute. Each was painted in a different colour. Tour guide asked us to come back to the bus at quarter past 3.

Then he added, 'To our American friends, that's 3.15'. It was so funny. But I think nowadays, everyone would have come across different ways of telling the time.

Finally, we made our way back to the city centre. Stopped by Butler's Chocolate Cafe. I shared Hot Chocolate with Cookie with ML. It tasted really good. The chocolate drink itself was really smooth and it wasn't too thick. Just nice. They even gave us a complimentary Easter egg.
Finally, the last night with S. She made us Lo Mai Kai, which was more like porridge, but still delicious. The curry chicken was really really nice! You're welcome to come to Liverpool any time as well provided that you make curry chicken for me. Hehehe...Now, to start on my CTM. Haih....back to reality. Can't wait for the next holiday to start.