Hanging on

Dear blog,

Sorry for not writing to you soon. It has been a week since I got back to Liverpool. Goodness, I was planning to get a start on the entry for my holiday at Kelantan and Cambodia but I just haven't got the time yet.

I was planning to get as much rest as possible on the 13 hours flight back to the UK. However, the movies offered on the flight were just too good. I ended up finishing 3 movies. From Indiana Jones, Sex in the City to Kung Fu Panda.

F was the first person to call me on the phone when I just boarded the bus from Manchester airport back to Liverpool. I was really relieved that he offered to pick me up from the bus station even thought it was just a small stretch back to my new accommodation. By that time, I was already worn out and really hungry.

I collected my keys and the minute I opened my door, I went, 'Oh my goodness!' My room was used as the store room for 6 peoples' stuff over the summer. I could only go 2 steps into my room and that was it. Boxes and bags were all over the place, not even sparing my bed. I was wondering how was I going to sleep that night. Luckily, F helped me to move a third of all the things out of my room. I was thinking that as long as I have somewhere to sleep, I could sort them out tomorrow. Then, I went down to China town to have lunch with seniors and new students from IMU who are joining 3rd year. Luckily for the lunch or I would have preferred to die from starvation due to lack of motivation and extreme fatigue to look for food if I was left on my own.

I started hospital the next day. It was a miracle how I could drag myself there so early in the morning. I think it was all thanks to my jetlag. It was really stressful to find out how much harder 4th year would be as compared to other years. If only I know for sure that I'm definitely going to pass 4th year. To make things worse, during my introduction to the psychiatric rotation, I was just given phone numbers after phone numbers to contact and arrange for my own sessions to fulfill the requirements set out in my log book. Very depressing but I was set on trying my best to gain as much as I can from this dire situation. I can say that it was really frustrating trying to contact people and the worst part was, they don't even know that 4th year medical students were supposed to contact them. I think I can diagnose myself with depression considering the mental state that I was in.

Came Tuesday night, I went out for A's birthday dinner. It was great seeing friends whom you rarely meet last year due to all of us being in different rotations and also doing our electives and me going back to Malaysia. I was still suffering from jetlag which I have a feeling will take a long time to cure. I'm still sleeping around 10pm and waking up around 6am. Actually it's not that bad as I felt that I can concentrate on doing some revision before I set off for hospital.

Saturday and Sunday(which is today) was cooking day for me. Saturday, I cooked dinner for E who just reached Liverpool that day. Sunday, M and C, my ex-flat mates from 1st year came over for lunch! It was great seeing them again after such a long time. We do meet up once in a while but nowadays, it is really difficult to catch hold of them. I realized that it'll get more difficult once we all start working to meet up as we'll all be in different parts of the world.

My job as the chef wasn't done. I invited another good friend of mine to come over for dinner as well. Cooked salmon. We had dinner together with my flat mates and I who broke their fast at 8pm. Soon, it'll be Hari Raya or Eid and I'll be looking forward to all the nice food.

As I was typing this entry, there was a short display of fireworks which were really lovely from my window. It suddenly occur to me that the view from my window was of the city center and even stretching to Albert dock. Another thought came upon me. Maybe I haven't noticed the fun lurking behind 4th year.

I hope that next week will be another interesting week. Till then.