Up, Down, Up, Middle

I know this is a very weird title but it summarised my feelings from Saturday up until Monday evening.

Saturday morning
I went for the Pituitary Group communication skills session. What I can say is, this is the best communication skills session which I've attended so far. It was so informative and helpful talking to the actual patients themselves, finding out what their main concerns were and what they wanted from doctors. I was really thankful to their willingness to recall the painful memories of finding out their disease and treatments which they went through. They were simply awesome.

Reached home, friends had already gathered at my place to help with marinating the chicken for the BBQ on Sunday. I know, I've just had a BBQ at Preston a week before and now another one.

Sunday
Woke up on Sunday and was greeted by the never ending rain. How to BBQ??? Luckily, rain paused for a few hours from 1pm till about 2 something.

Experience of setting up the BBQ set:

We bought 2 metal BBQ set which we needed to set up using the screws and bolts provided without screw driver. From this experience, I can no longer assume that guys are good with setting things up. Now I'm wondering if any of them ever played with model aeroplanes or cars before. I know I loved playing with Lego last time.

It was so difficult lighting up the charcoal. Now I regretted not learning from my friends in Preston. We also realised that none of us were scouts before. In the end. it took us about 2 hours before we got down to cooking any food at all.

My pose here is the most natural among the 4. Why? Because I wasn't even aware that they were posing there and taking photos. Too much lah these people, never tell me anything. (But they must be thinking 'Eh, why did this girl suddenly appear in the picture?')

Each piece of chicken or burger was tagged with someone's name on Facebook. Is this a growing trend?

By the time we managed to get 3 BBQ sets working, the sky became unkind to us and started raining cats and dogs. Luckily, one of our friends offered his house which was just next to the park to continue our BBQ using the civilised way - Grill.

However, while others were busy abandoning ship, scrambling and carrying all the food and equipment to his house, my group persevered and stayed on barbecuing the hamburger and chicken under my umbrella. You might think what is the whole point behind this, but then you can never understand how delicious the food you barbecued under the rain with extra marination with special herbs (not parsley or basil but normal grass) tasted so much better.

The survivors

Finally, all of us moved to the house after eating the final piece of chicken which we had as all the food were moved to the house earlier on, or else, we'll still be happily barbecuing in the rain.

Had sandwiches, grilled chicken and a slice of really delicious cheesecake (V's 2nd attempt at making). V, it was really delicious, you just need to work on presentation. You can invite me if you need someone to help you taste or give comments.

Sorry no photos as I was busy grilling chicken, eating and also being entertained by a bunch of crazy 1st and 2nd year Medic students. I can only say that they're a group of very sick people. (Anyone who wants to find out what type of sick scenes they were acting out, just contact me and I'll send you the file personally. Beforehand, please provide proof that you're over 18 years of age.)

Monday
I was getting all stressed out about the progress of my essay, losing inspiration, motivation and concentration to finish my first draft by Friday. Stress, pressure, tension, depression, you name it.

I am usually a very patient person, but today, this person just had to step on my tail at the wrong time. I was truly disappointed when this new committee's VP called to tell me that nobody was going for the End of Year Award Giving Ceremony later that evening. He then said the reason that he's not going was because he needs to study after trying to get through to my phone 3 - 4 times while I was in a lecture. To add salt to a wound, he said this event was meant for the old committee and it did not concern the new committee.

Ok, he needs to study but the way he said it was as if I didn't have to! And why does he need to make sure that he got hold of me to tell me that no one else was going and implied that I had to go? It would be so much better if you've came up with a better excuse or not calling me at all. I was so angry at that time that I almost cancelled my plan of attending that evening.

In the end, only B and I showed up for the event. So sad! This event was meant for all the past and present committee members. All these people are just too much. Not supportive at all. Why is it so difficult to even take out 1 hour to attend something which was organised to show appreciation to the hard work which you have or going to put in for the society? I looked jealously at others who turned up in big groups happily chatting away and giving loud applauses whenever their society won a prize.

Unexpectedly, Liverpool Malaysian Society won the Best Celebrating Culture Award for 2007/08. I was shocked. Never in my life expected this to happen.

Ex-boss's speech at the Award:


We got a certificate and 75 pounds credited into our account at the Guild of Students. Too bad they didn't give us cash, if not, it will be 50:50 between B and I.
I seriously hope that the support and commitment shown by the new committee will be much better than the previous batch. Last year at the same award, there were 3 who turned up and this year it was reduced to 2 person. Now, I wonder if there will only be 1 or 10 next year.

Depression

This is really frustrating. I know that I'll be really busy in the following week and yet I can't find any motivation to start doing my work which is piling up by the second. Very soon I will not be able to write on my table as it'll be a mountain of books, papers, stationeries, and I might be buried underneath if an avalanche ever happened.

I've kinda like started doing some but it is crawling. If I went to a race with a snail, I think I will even lose to it. And the worst part is, everything else seems so much more interesting besides the work which needs to be done. Even the replay of BBC's hard talk session with Dr. Mahathir for the 3rd time was still more entertaining than my own work. Sometimes I wonder if I am qualified to be a medical student as it seems like medicine doesn't interest me at all.

When I thought that the situation was at its worst, I realised I even lost interest in anime, movies and even my keyboard! First thing which came to my mind, I was suffering from anhedonia, one of the symptoms of depression. Then as I started revising about depression, the more I became depressed as my condition fitted more of the screening criteria. Now this is one of the disadvantages of studying medicine - knowing too much.

Diagnosis of major depression:

Loss of interest or pleasure (anhedonia) in daily life with really low mood plus more than 4 of the following symptoms present nearly everyday for at least 2 weeks:


Ok, I've experienced anhedonia. Let's take a look at the rest.

1. Poor appetite with weight loss (or rarely, increased appetite)
Hmm, was hoping for some weight loss.
2. Early waking with mood worse in the mornings
I hoped that I could wake up early as I need to rush every morning.
3. Psychomotor retardation (sluggish thought process or paucity of spontaneous movement) or psychomotor agitation (the opposite)
At the rate of doing my homework and even writing this entry, my slowness can beat the sloth any time.
4. Decreased in sexual drive and other appetites
Decreased appetite for anime, movies and even naps.
5. Reduced ability to concentrate
This one is so true. I just cannot read the whole paragraph.
6. Ideas of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt
I'm feeling really guilty for developing too good a skill in procrastinating.
7. Recurrent thought of death and suicide, or suicide attempts
Not worth it. Already study so hard to reach here then only want to end it all? Still have so many opportunities to enjoy life.

Ok, ok. I'm exaggerating here. Depression can only be diagnosed if you've experience lost of interest plus more than 4 of the above symptoms almost everyday for at least 2 weeks. My situation is just lack of motivation to do homework and having low mood from reading up about depression I guess. In conclusion, studying medicine can be a cause of depression.

If any of you meet the criteria above, I do advise you to speak to somebody preferably your GP (doctor), counsellor or someone qualified. Now, where is my motivation hiding? Come out come out wherever you are......

Comfort Zone

There are times when I wonder if I would have matured earlier or 'grown up' faster if I were to do my undergraduate degree in Malaysia.

The first thing which came to my mind was driving. I always thought that if I was studying back home, I would have become a steady driver by now. Over here, it's so expensive to get a British driving licence, what more buy a car when the car insurance can be more expensive than the car. If I were in Malaysia, I wouldn't have to worry about all these as I can borrow the family car at any time. It is so different from the situation here as we cannot just simply borrow a car. You have to specifically buy a car insurance to insure a specific driver for a specific car. Renting a car is something I dreamed of doing but dare not take the chance. Sometimes I do regret that I never master my driving skills properly. If I did, I might be more mobile. I am a timid person, which I hate sometimes.

I think I'm only qualified to drive this car

Thinking about financial wise. I have this concept all the while in my head that only working adults dealt with the bank. I used to follow my parents to the bank when they needed to deal with finance. It was only when I came to the UK that I had to open my own bank account, deal with the bank and manage my own finance. What I can say is, money is everything in every part of the globe. Sadly, nobody can live without money. Even if you had tremendous talent or passion for a subject, no university will accept you if you cannot afford it. Some might argue that you can apply for a scholarship. But think about it, a scholarship is also made up of a sum of money and not everyone is lucky enough to obtain one.

Feeling happy and secured in my comfort zone

I guess living away from home, I've taken a really big step to move out of the comfort zone. It was really difficult for me at first, as I wasn't used to worry about the grocery, accommodation, transportation, etc when I was staying at home. It was a luxury having parents to worry about you, take care of you, becoming your chauffeur (or human GPS plus driving instructor), opening a fully stocked fridge at all times, sitting in an air-conditioned car to be chauffeured everywhere, and mostly being pampered at home. Those were the good old days. I guess I might grow up faster in some areas with parental support but I did mature more when I was on my own over here.

I realised that I had to be responsible for every decision I make. Unlike in the past, I could just run back to my parents if anything went wrong. Home is like halfway around the globe now and it will be impossible to 'run back' even if I wanted to. Even if I encountered a financial crisis, I'll have to wait at least 5 working days for my parents to transfer money to me. It's not as easy in the past when I just had to open my mouth to ask and my parents will just give me what I needed right away. Another thing is looking after my own safety. I do sometimes forget that this world is not as safe as it looks on the surface until I encounter some episode which just throws me back into reality along with a harsh reminder. I do miss that comfort zone sometimes but I am glad that breaking out of it has made me a stronger person.
As the saying goes, we depend on family when we're at home but on friends when we're away. I am proud to say that I am lucky to have so many good friends to depend on.

Funny Videos

ImprovEverywhere is one of the most creative group created. They're the same group who staged the 'Frozen Grand Central'.

Here's another of their mission in a food court:



No laptop to serve the Internet? Bring your desktop!:



The video that created the legendary 'Freezing trend':



Have fun browsing through other videos from them.

There's another group called the Flashmob. It's funny to note that humans do practice the herd mentality.



It's great to have a good laugh.

A weekend in Preston

Y2 was so nice to invite me to Preston for the weekend as her house mates organized a BBQ on Sunday. I haven't seen Y2 since the ski trip and was really excited to see her again.

I went down on a Friday evening after apologising to my convenor for not being able to finish my first draft of the essay in time. Hehe.....will continue writing it this week.

Friday evening was buying grocery at Sainsbury, cooking dinner and catching up with gossips day. It's a really different experience shopping for groceries with your friend as you get to appreciate the types of food they buy and also, experience their usual diet which is always different from my own.

What I can say after 2.5 days of care provided by Y2 is that, she is a really good hostess. Feeds me really well. Meals start with a really good dishes with chicken cooked with black fungus, grilled salmon, veg, and for dessert, 2 slices of strawberry cheesecake each.

Saturday's programme was the tour of Preston town. It is a very peaceful and quiet town. Most of the buildings were quite ancient looking. Y2 told me that her neighbourhood was made up mostly of old people. In other words, this place might be lacking of entertainment for students.

Buildings from town halls, monuments of unknown names cause my guide doesn't know them as well, train stations and a county hall which looked like a castle from far but the outline was actually the chimneys instead of the stone bricks of a castle.

The lamp post near the town hall was eye-catching. Y2 even held it like she was hugging someone...I don't know who

We had hot jacket potato from this roadside stall. Somebody must have paid Y2 to advertise for them. We ordered cheese and coleslaw which came up to 1.75 pounds and enough to be shared between the 2 of us. We were served 2 types of cheese on top of the coleslaw - Cheddar and Red Leicester. Surprisingly, it was delicious.

Preston has 2 big shopping complex close to each other and connected by rows of shops. It is a great place for shopping. Shopaholics can consider settling down here.

We went into New Look and decided to do a make-over on each other but ended up trying selections which we've chosen for the other on ourselves as well.


By the time we finished shopping, it was already late in the evening and I didn't even tour all of the town even thought there wasn't much to tour. Window shopping and of course the company of Y2 are sufficient to keep me occupied I guess.

Even the vending machines at the shopping centre was so high class. Usually it's always the Coke vending machine.

Sunday was BBQ day! Rain or shine, nothing could stop us. Of course, there's always the oven if it was really pouring on that day.

The umbrellas were supposed to be used for covering the food but in the end, humans were more important. Met 2 of Y2's friends twinning from IMU, E and SS.

Y2 was so nice to all of us. She made the effort to cut the burger which were cooked into smaller pieces so that it was easier for us to BBQ and eat at the same time.

Food was delicious and plentiful. We did put some of the chicken into the oven as well. Comparatively, the oven baked ones tasted healthier but the BBQed ones was juicier and of course, more delicious. Desserts were always the most satisfying part of every meal.

I really liked the waffles. They were so delicious!

Steps to making the ultimate waffle. Toast the waffle in the toaster. It's soft when it is still hot but turns crunchy when it cools. Add 2 scopes of Haagen-dazs ice cream topped with strawberry syrup. Finally, dig in!
Golden rule: never think of the number of calories that you're consuming while eating desserts.

Thanks Y2 and house mates for making my weekend. I felt so fortunate for being fed and taken care of so well. Will always remember this image of Y2 happily eating her chicken. I'll come visit again in future.

One of Y2's house mate bought the perfume by Sarah Jessica Parker and she said that she didn't like the smell at all.
The moment Y2 sprayed some on my hand, I was greeted by the strong smell of 'Fab Sabun Buku' (A Malaysian brand bar of detergent) which I used to hand wash my clothes when I was younger. I guess any type of smell can be sold as a perfume as long as someone famous advertises it. Maybe if we used a famous name to promote the smell of some dish washing liquid, it can be marketed as an expensive perfume as well.

Solutions to help you wake up

Do you wake up in the morning blaming your alarm clock for not waking you up? Do you press that snooze button a million of times and end up late? Don't worry. Below are innovative solutions to your problems.

Clocky - the runaway clock
Here's 2 videos about it:




You just got to wake up, catch it or maybe find it first before you can have that peaceful silence again. The alarm is not that annoying though. Might be ignored. Who knows, the further it runs, the softer and less annoying the alarm gets?

Walky Clocky

This video is so funny. The clock practically runs to your lecture hall. No excuse not to turn up for lectures.



Biggest alarm clock
I think you can jump right out of bed with this one.



Rolling ball alarm clock
If you want to go bowling but you don't have a bowling ball, can use this to substitute.



Flying alarm clock
Have to find the propeller to switch off the alarm.



Ticking bomb alarm clock
I think I'll get a heart attack every time I need to diffuse the 'bomb'.

Water gun alarm clock
Wake up drenched every morning.



Piggybank clock
I like this one. Can save money and wake up at the same time!



P.s. Not all are real alarm clocks

Retirement is sweet

I know people who still have that sense of longing when they retire, the reluctance of handing over their position and work to the next generation. But to me, I don't feel any of this at all.

The AGM has just ended and I handed over my secretarial post of Liverpool Malaysian Society to the new committee. The feeling of the heavy burden lifted off my chest was more than sufficient as a reward to all the hard work, worries, frustrations, cutting down on watching Anime and movies, indigestion from late meals followed by immediate bed time to maximize the minutes of sleep I can get, the list goes on.

Thinking back, if I could foresee what I would have to go through before I stood for the secretarial post, I think I would have chickened out straight away without a second thought. I won the election by just 1 vote and sometimes I wished that someone should have changed his/her mind and voted for my competitor instead.

The journey has been a roller coaster. Most of the time was spent struggling to reach the top. There were moments when I was happy when things were going well. There were times that I realised how few friends I had. There were times when I felt motivated by all the support and encouragement given. But most of the times, I was busy worrying and feeling so frustrated over something. Was it worth it? I still cannot decide.

I failed miserably in multi-tasking and balancing my work and play. My results for this year did suffer badly and I am just hoping that I can pass the year. At least from now on, I can concentrate on catching up and focus all energy into studying. In the end, it's still the results that matter most.

I always had this thought behind my head every time I was asked to do society work. No matter how hard you contribute, you can only put a line in your CV saying that you've held this post in Malaysian society. Most of the time, your hard work is not even recognised by members. It's really disheartening that you organise something, or you ask for support and nobody gives you that. You drafted an email in your most sincere thoughts to thank people who has supported you only to let that email be sent in another person's name. Therefore, what's the use of putting in so much effort? But I always end up doing so much as I cannot go against my conscience. So, the cycle starts again with the lack of sleep, lack of food, not doing homework properly...... Some can just do so little and still get the name at the end of the day. Is life unfair? Yes. Was I a stupid fool? Yes. Do I still care about that email? I tried very hard not to, but I still feel sad about it. I wasn't even mentioned in it. This thought will be buried in this entry and forgotten.

I cannot deny that I got something in return. I've learnt that nothing is easy. The experiences of rejection and frustrations have made me a stronger person. I am more confident in dealing with people. I read emails properly now as I know how disappointing it is when people don't give the emails you've written a second glance. I realised how hard it is to get people's support. I know that running a society isn't an easy thing to do.

Now, I can close this chapter of my life and wash my hands clean. I can only give my best wishes to the new committee and hope that they'll fare better. I am still recapping for the 10th time, the moment I handed over that thick folder of document and CD. Retirement is sweet and I can't wait to retire from my medical career even before starting it.

Slowly fading away

Another day, another introduction,
I start with a Hello and a smile.
Along with it, carries a hope that you will remember,
That is how it is, everyday.

It has become a routine,
I cannot remember when it started.
Searching for a sign of recognition,
I could never find it.

It pains my heart,
Knowing that you've forgotten me.
Seeing you living contently,
I have learnt to accept it.

......

I was watching the tele,
When I felt someone approaching.
Hello she said,
as I turned around to return her greeting.

Her sad little smile caught me off guard,
Why does she look so sad?
Too polite to ask a stranger,
I kept that little thought in me.

Do you remember me?
She asked with a quiver in her voice.
I stopped to think,
'No, I think this is the first time I've met you.'

......

Holding back my tears,
I hope that I didn't worry him.
I brought along an old photo album today,
Hoping that it might help him remember.

It contained the story of his life,
Dated from the day granddad bought the camera.
It tells the story of important events,
From childhood, to marriage, till his encounter with me.

I started from the first page,
The section of black and white.
He remembers!
Excitedly, he narrated the stories behind them.

......

Oh! My old photo album.
I haven't seen them in a long time.
It seemed like yesterday,
When all these things happened.

I started telling stories,
She was really interested in them.
It brought back so many memories,
The good, the bad, hallmarks of my life.

I flipped another page over,
Now the photos are coloured.
Then I started having difficulty,
Recalling the events when it was taken.

......

My hopes left me,
His condition has deteriorated from a month ago.
The last time we went through the album,
He did not have any problem till pages after.

He stopped at the 8th page,
Which was the day he married.
The bride, looking lovely in white,
With him, looking smart in tuxedo.

'Was I married?' he asked,
'She looks really lovely.'
I didn't know how to answer him,
My strength all focused on holding back the tears.

......

I must have been married,
The groom is definitely me.
She is so lovely in that white dress,
I wished I could have remember that moment.

I flipped over another coloured page,
What greeted me was this photo of two,
It was the picture of the beautiful lady with a baby in her arms,
She was smiling so happily to the person who took the photo.

I felt a strong sense of love,
And a feeling that I should have remembered them.
I went through the other photos,
Showing that little girl growing up.

It started with her being so tiny,
Then sitting up, crawling, and walking.
She went to kindergarten and to school,
Suddenly, I realised she looked very familiar.

I turned to look at my visitor,
No doubt, she is that little girl in the photo.
Are you my daughter?
She nodded in reply with tears streaming down her face.

I was losing a piece of myself each day,
Bit by bit, without even realising it.
I was slowly fading away,
Heading towards nothingness.

This entry was inspired by someone I saw who is suffering from Alzheimer's disease. I just hope that none of us have to go through any of this.

The Power of Photoshop

No wonder people said never trust anything on the Internet. With Photoshop, you can get perfect pictures without having to diet!

The picture of M and I in Basel last summer. I know! I do look really fat here. Actually, I look like this picture now......haih.....maybe I should look for my sifu and ask her to teach me how to diet. I still remember getting a certificate from her in college after finishing the course of 'Learn to eat more'. Since then, she retired and changed her profession to Diet Guru. As her toudai, I'll have to follow her footsteps as well.

Aiyo....I look so fat here. M as a good friend sacrificed to stand next to me so that I won't be the only fat person in the photo.....so touching.

OK, first step was, of course, make myself look slimmer and get rid of all the pimples on my face.

Tadaaaa!!!

Then I can imagine how M will be complaining why I never make her look thinner and of course, I don't want her to sue me for copyright and force me to take down the pictures. Therefore, I did the same for her and the result is

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Yay! Now that's what I call the perfect photo. Can develop this and hang on the wall to motivate me to diet. My next target will be to look like this before I go back to see my family.

Let me just put the 1st and last photos together so that you can see the difference.

You can start playing spot the difference with these two photos. Have fun.

I was just playing with Photoshop today and I was wondering what was all the hype about it. Browsed around the Internet and stumbled upon the secret behind it. I'm still an amateur therefore, you can see that the bars of the steel gate in the background is distorted. Oh well, need more practice.

Working at Grand National 08

What makes Grand National so popular? The horses? The jockeys? The betting? The celebrities who turn up? To be able to show off your wealth and outfit? To try your luck?

Grand National is a horse racing event which takes place at Aintree Racecourse around Easter each year. I've worked there for 3 days last year as a casual worker, and I sold race cards again this year but only for a day. The pay isn't great. About 5.30 pounds per hour but it is the opportunity to witness this great event that mattered more to me this year.

Experience as a casual worker
Scene from the small station which I was working in. Race cards are programme booklets containing information on horses and time of each race. There are small races throughout the whole day but the major race is at 4.30pm where about 40 finalist horses will race to the finish. If you're wondering why are those people dressed in yellow, it's our uniform for casual workers working with that specific company.

Taking M's advice, I brought along some pens to sell for a pound each to make some profit. However, after selling my 3rd one, our higher up supervisor came to tell us that we were not allowed to sell anything. Oh well, at least I've earned 2 pounds profit.

Working as a casual worker is no easy job. Just want to share a few pointers with you if you ever thought of working as a casual worker. Most people whom they employ don't really have high educational qualifications. At first I thought that they might minus out the negative balance amount from our pay. In actual fact, they never do that. Therefore, even if you end up more or less at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter.

Second thing is, sometimes they put you out in the cold for the whole day. It depends on your luck. I was out in the open for 2 days out of 3 for last year. I suffered badly as it was windy and cold. This year, I was lucky enough to be placed in the hut. Therefore, wear your thickest warmest jacket and get ready for any weather condition.

Thirdly, don't judge the book by its cover. Even if the customers are all dressed up looking very posh, some of them are just so unethical that they try to take advantage of you. Last year I had 2 very bad encounters due to being placed in an outdoor station which crowded with loads of people rushing to get their race cards before the race.

First encounter, a guy just came up to my counter, quickly took a race card and just walked away quickly. I wanted to run after him, but couldn't leave my station for fearing for the safety of my other race cards. In the end, I told my supervisor and he accompanied me to go up to the guy and asked him to pay. So embarrassing! But what to do, I was afraid that they might deduct it from my pay.

2nd bad encounter was, a few seconds after I gave the 17 pounds change back to a lady dressed so nicely in a blue dress that she turned around and accused me of not giving her back the change. She seriously demanded for her 17 pounds and she did not even budge. I panicked a bit at first, then got angry at her cause I know that she was lying. In the end, another casual worker who was with me asked me to go look for my supervisor to deal with it. However, by the time I got back, she was gone. Hmmm......

This year, I got to know all the tricks behind this. I wasn't really concerned if I didn't reach the exact amount, even tried to do something which I didn't know was illegal (it wasn't mentioned in the books at all, I checked) - trying to make profit from selling pens.

Concerning the pay, I feel that it is unfair that they pay you by the hour instead of how many race cards which you've sold. Theoretically, your brain has done more processing the more race cards you sold, in other words, more service has been provided. But no, they pay you by the hour regardless of how much you have done which is really unfair and stupid. That's why this year, I wasn't eager to sell more, I didn't care if I couldn't sell all of them. I wasn't that unethical to sit there and 'goyang kaki'. At least I did my work. Learn the game and play by the rules.

Finally, after work..........

Grand National 2008


First stop was of course for lunch. Had bacon barm from a small stall situated in the workers area. The food here is of course much cheaper than in the venue itself.

Introducing the wooden disposable spoon. I'm so used to plastic disposable spoons that even this amuses me.

One of the main building for VIPs

There were lesser people compared to last year, most probably due to the bad weather which was so cold and it drizzled in the afternoon. Many were dressed up looking really posh but I thought this year the standard of dressing dropped a bit as I saw many people who just looked like they were dressed just to go to town. I did see people getting interviewed and making a fuss around a few people last year but since I don't watch British television, I have no idea who on earth is that person. This year, it is still the same.

Outfit highlights of the day (sorry couldn't take photo in time)
1. Gentleman dressed in fluorescent orange suit (jacket and trousers) with purple shirt
2. Gentleman dressed in dark blue suit but with pink wig and painted red nails
3. Old gentleman dressed in black suit but with a pink hat

There were so many betting stalls, biggest player was Tote with small threats from the many small companies setting up their own bets. The food courts were always crowded and I felt lucky to have had my lunch.

One of the races

The racecourse itself was so big that I got the feeling that the horses were running really slowly but in actual fact, they're racing so fast against each other.

Something new this year, replicas of the Superlambanana.

Seen a walking beer dispensary unit before? They're innovative inventions.

The most loved race horse of all time - Red Rum. It won 3 first places and 2 second places at Grand Nationals years ago even when suffering from a chronic leg condition in one leg. Impressive!

I didn't stay for the big race this year as my friends and I were really tired. We went off before 4pm as the bus services stops after 4pm to cut down traffic. I do recommend to attend this event at least once, through buying tickets (which are at cut throat prices) or take the opportunity to gain access through working there. It will be a great experience.

P.s. I wanted to bet on Slim Pickings but since we left early, I didn't. That horse came in 4th place.

It started snowing a while ago which explains why the weather was so cold in the day. It's already spring! How can it still snow??? I miss the warm weather.

Qing Ming Jie

Qing Ming Jie means Clear and Bright Festival in direct translation, or it is also called Tomb Sweeping Day in English. It falls on the 4th of April this year (just realised that it is a leap year) and it does bring back lots of memories. It is a day when Chinese visit the ancestors' graveyards to remember and honour them.

Prior to the actual day years back, I remembered helping my grandmother fold yellow pieces of joss paper into something which is shaped like a gold ingot. First, you roll it into a tube, then press the ends in making the top part wider and sharper compared to the lower part. I think this is one of the easiest method of making it. There are other more complicated ways. We managed to make 2 big plastic bags of that paper ingots after half an hour.

Since my family moved back to Kuala Lumpur, my mum and dad wakes up very early on the day itself. They will go with my other relatives to the grave of my maternal grandfather to clear the wild grass and tidy up the tomb. Usually they'll pay somebody to help with the trimming of the grass which is a wise move considering how thick undisturbed wild grass can get. Imagine, there's even business opportunity for some people on that day.

After cleaning the grave. they'll then offer tea, wine, food, and burn the paper ingots and other paper replica of things which they will want to offer to the dead. Too bad they never brought me or my sister along before. It would be interesting for me to witness all these rituals personally.

I have always been fascinated by the creativity and modernisation of paper replicas which are produced nowadays. A local Malaysian newspaper reported that the Astro decoder (this is used to receive direct-to-home satellite television in Malaysia) is a hot selling paper offering for Qing Ming this year. Now I'm wondering if broadcast signal could be received in Hell as well? Other types of paper offering include cars, houses, platinum credit cards, make-up, wine, cigarettes, mobile phones etc. They can be of actual sizes or scaled down. (An issue of open burning just crossed my mind, but tradition is tradition, we cannot ban it.)

Talking about mobile phones, I came across the DIY paper offering for Apple Iphone from Studio Leung.
I bet there's even Nintendo Wii or Playstation 3. Maybe MacBook Air as well. I think I would just burn a bank containing a lot of hell money for my ancestor so that they can just buy what they really want. It's just me worrying if they didn't know how to use the mobile phone, or maybe the games that came along with the Nintendo doesn't suit their taste. (Mental note: include instruction manual and warranty card as well) Who knows they prefer to have a new computer with the fastest wireless modem so that they can play Dota with each other instead?

It is only after coming to the UK that I realise how unique and variable Malaysian festivals are and the impact that they have on me. I guess no matter how far you go, your roots will always anchor you to home.

I grew wiser today

'I grew wiser today'

'How do you know?'

'My wisdom tooth started to sprout today'

(I told this to a few people and the only person who almost strangled me after I said this was my ex-room mate cause I disturbed her while she was revising)

I don't know why it is always during that stressful period when I'm preparing for an exam that one of my wisdom tooth which hasn't erupted decides to show itself.

This happened for the 3rd time last Tuesday when I was preparing for my formative exams which just finished today. The exams were really difficult and I know that I need to put in more effort after this.

This time around, it was my upper left wisdom tooth which decided to show itself. It was pressing onto my lower gum which was still wisdom toothless cause it to swell. So painful!!!! It was even ulcerating and bled on brushing. My previous introduction to my other 2 wisdom tooth never involved any problem at all, until this 3rd one came along.

It was painful if anything pressed on it. It even hurts if I tried opening my mouth a bit wider. Too bad it didn't reduce my appetite. If not, I might have been able to lose some weight. Been piling up on the pounds since winter. Papa, mama and Mona, if you're reading this, I'm not sure if you'll be able to recognise me or not this summer.

I bumped into a 5th year dentistry student on the 3rd day of my suffering and I asked for his advice.

'How long will it take to heal?'

'Oh. Usually it take 2 - 3......'

(I was expecting him to say days but to my horror')

'...weeks up to a month for the gum to keratinize. If you're still having problem with it by then, I advice you to see your dentist.'

'If I saw a dentist now, will he/she be able to do anything for me?'

'There's nothing much which they can do now. They may extract it if it's giving you too much problem.'

Haih. So sad. I wouldn't want to opt for extracting. Already started to dread all the torture which I need to endure at each meal. But luckily for me, the swelling went down on the 5th day and after a week, it's fully healed now.

..................

After the last paper today, my friends and I decided to go down to town. At first, we wanted to try out the waffles at the newly opened Waffle House, but since one of them pulled out at the last minute, we decided to save it for another day.

Went to The Egg vegetarian restaurant again.

I ordered Tandoori mushrooms (lower left picture) served with salad and Naan bread which was delicious! I didn't know mushrooms could taste like that. My friends ordered spicy burger and something else which I've forgotten the name. With the lovely atmosphere, not too crowded and light purple themed decorations, it was a lovely place to chill out.

Best part, DESSERTS:

Chocolate cake with fresh cream. We ordered one piece, but the waiter was so nice that he gave us 2. A bit too sweet for my liking though.

Best banana cake which I've tasted so far! It doesn't really look like banana cake from the cranberry jam spread on top. But it tasted so delicious. Would love to have it again in future. Thanks F for the treat.

Feeling so tired after window shopping at town after lunch. Need to get a start on my SSM before I see my convenor this Friday. Already looking forward to the next holiday, when I finally go back to Malaysia. I do have a feeling that I may not be going back in the summer of 4th year though. There's still too many places to travel!

Child Prodigy - a blessing or curse?

Remember the news about a sweet little girl who went to Oxford University at the tender age of 13 and gone missing at the age of 15?

Taken from my 2nd source below

Recently, she was found to be working as a prostitute in Manchester. Full story at:

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/3003_hooker.shtml (Warning: Images need more censoring for younger readers)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/portal/main.jhtml?xml=/portal/2008/04/01/ftgenius101.xml (Suitable for all ages)

It is a very sad story. I'm sure all of you would have formed some opinion towards her, wondering why of all things she could do to earn a living she had to turn to prostitution. The reason can be quite similar to why some people turn to drugs when they've reached pit bottom.

I'm not even sure if she's genuinely a child prodigy after reading about the brutal methods used by her father to nurture her into the so called 'math genius'. Imagine having the house ice cold 24 hours, woken abruptly by punches in the mornings, no television or pop music, making mathematics the main aim in life etc.. I cannot bear to go through all those just to excel in something.

Gaining that reputation of a child prodigy means having to accept all the pressure from expectations to perform even better. This pressure can be so great that it causes nervous breakdowns. For a girl of 13, living in her type of environment doesn't help cope with it at all.

Let me ask you something. Who truly benefited from all the hype and fame gained when Sufiah Yusof went to Oxford University? Was she truly happy to get to where she did? What she truly happy to wear that mortarboard? Her father on the other hand, became famous for his teaching method and many flocked to him and blindly handed him their children to be 'manufactured' into prodigies.
Right from the start, it wasn't about his daughter at all. It was all for his own benefit.

The lost childhood, the mental and physical strains tearing up the soul of this little girl, who wouldn't want to run away from home when you get the chance? She was unlucky not to have come across someone who could tend her wounds, someone who could guided her in the right direction, she was unlucky to have such a 'loving' family. She was so vulnerable yet nobody could reach her.

Child prodigies are rare and so different from us that society only knows how to worship and admire them from afar but have we tried to understand their true needs from us? Have we even wondered if they wanted to be treated like that? A blessing or curse? I'll leave you to decide for yourselves.

A very interesting article on child prodigies by Time:
http://www.time.com/time/asia/covers/501030217/story.html