Procratination

I hate myself sometimes. When there's free time for me to catch up with my work, I choose to do something totally unrelated and the time just end up being wasted.

Let me give you a typical example of how I end up making myself stressed out even more. Say I have to read something by tomorrow and I've just got back from hospital. I'll give myself a good excuse to take a nap first (if you all consider sleeping for 2 hours a nap), wake up, time to prepare dinner, watch some anime while having dinner, get addicted to the series, and by the time I feel guilty enough, it's already late and I'm already feeling really sleepy.

I would then try to start reading something, but I'll be so tired and sleepy by that time, I would rather succumb to my bed calling me to sleep. Next day, I'll wake up feeling not rested, stressed out, start promising myself to catch up, and yet, the cycle repeats itself. I'll reach home, tired, make excuses to relax first, get distracted, no motivation to start, feel guilty all over again.

So, with the accumulating workload which will soon topple over me, I cannot blame anyone but myself for not being disciplined enough to at least do something while I have the time and not get distracted halfway through.

I guess my guilty receptors has been de-sensitised and the impulse reaches the central consciousness too late to break the cycle. Can I still be cured?

Putting that aside, I had my first Paediatrics A&E experience on Thursday evening. Time does fly when I was at A&E. I got to see patients on my own, present the history to the doctor and then went and examine the patient together. Although most of the cases were just diarrhoea and vomiting, it was still exciting for me as I got to examine patients from toddlers to young children. At least none of them started screaming and crying when I examined them.

I had a big change in perception of childhood cancers after my visit to the oncology department. It was surprising to me that most of the cancers could be cured unlike cancers in old age. There were also cases where the child could not live to see adulthood. Too depressing to write about it here.

Another big thing which happened last week was Barack Obama won the US elections! I hope that he'll be a good leader in the hard times ahead. No doubt that he's raised hopes and created quite a controversy in Malaysia as well. You know what I mean.

Now, time to start catching up.

P.s. Any plans for December holidays???