Never thought the problem was that significant

I'm not going to dwell on anymore excuses that I wasn't feeling well this morning, didn't ate enough breakfast, etc. as I've done enough of that.

This morning, after an 8am start, we went to watch a bone marrow aspiration and trephine at the day ward. Initially, I was feeling all right, the bone marrow aspiration didn't scare me or made me feel uneasy. However, when it came to the trephine, the doctor showed me this really big and fat needle which he was going to introduce to the same site as the previous aspiration needle, that was when I started feeling a bit quesy, lips going numb and light headed, then after the initial give going through the tough fascia, I started hearing this grinding sound of the trephine needle against the bone. That didn't last long and he managed to get the sample, but that was when I couldn't take it anymore.

I took 2 steps out of the cubicle, walking towards the nearest chair, but the next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes to one of the nurses holding up my legs and another calling me. I didn't even realise that I fainted. Surprisingly, I didn't feel any pain anywhere. Most probably somebody caught me before I fell. The worst part was I fainted in front of 6 other patients who were waiting for their turn for the bone marrow aspiration and/ or trephine and they all laughed at me. I think that didn't help for those who are afraid of the procedure.

So, what should I do now? I know that I've always been afraid of pain and needles all my life, but I didn't think that it will affect my medical career this seriously. The last time I felt this way but didn't faint was during the stitching up of a huge wound under local anaesthetic during my electives at the A&E department. That patient was complaining of pain all the way through. How can I harden my heart and become ruthless so that I don't feel this imaginary pain of the patient?

Worse case scenario is, after I completed the Sci59 questionnaire which helps provide a guide to which speciality will suit me most, my top match was haematology! Does that mean I can't run away from bone marrow trephines? Why is medicine so brutal?