Think positive

The orange yolk in the sky slowly disappeared into the horizon.

I just felt really weird with the mixed feelings.

Those voices are still not leaving me alone.

I hate the darkness but at least they keep me company.

As I fell, you thought it was bad enough.

Somebody comes along and pour mud all over.

Think positive you say?

At least no one recognises the crippled me on the ground.

I just hate myself for not being able to stand up again.

But can I blame anyone? I just want to have a good cry.

You just came up to me with an outreached hand.

Too bad you're not the hero you think you are.

Could you please leave me alone?

I had this feeling for a long time.

Maybe I don't want to admit it.

Maybe I'm not the person you said I was.

I want to scream to release all the hatred.

But words are just not coming out.

Think positive she say?

'I'll scream on your behalf, but inside your head'

My thoughts are muddled enough.

But those damn voices, they kept getting louder.

Think positive he say?

I just want to sleep and never wake up.

Knowing too much might not be a good thing.

I know the quickest and most painless method.

Think positive they say?

I could easily end it all if I wanted.

Diary from the future

Dear diary,

Can’t wait till I finish this research article of mine. Hopefully it’s going to bring me closer to wining the Nobel prize. I still don’t understand myself. How can I live in such contradiction of constantly wanting to win the Nobel prize and yet dream about retiring in every single dream? At least I’m living comfortably now. I’ll have to remember to go to the lawyer’s firm this Friday to sign those documents. Really need more brain cells to remember what properties I’ve bought and what installments are due. Glad that I’ve sold off most of that share before the US market crashed the other day.

Next week is Mama’s birthday and I haven’t got the time to pack yet. At least I’m off for 2 weeks. Now I can tick off Taiwan from my list of places to travel. Need to give all of them a call but I think the two old people are out jogging at this hour and M might be sleeping after her lecture. Aiyo, how can she end up being so similar to me? Sleeping at this hour. I miss those days. Maybe I should take a nap too. Hahaha. But my article….it’s due too soon. Haih….I need to go on this holiday. Noreen, go do work! 

Wonder if the renovation of the new house is going well. Papa kept on saying that the kitchen was all right but I thought a bigger kitchen would be more comfortable to cook in. Plus, he’s still trying to perfect his fishball recipe. I’ve lost track of how many years has it been. He’s been more adventurous with his cooking since his retirement. So happy that I get good food when I’m at home.  At least my 2 share consultants have got something to occupy themselves over the weekend when the share market is closed.

Now, to gather any remaining motivation to finish this stupid article. 

Love, 

Noreen from the future

Life

Hang on, just hang in there

I am going to conclude that January is my unlucky month. Started on A&E rotation which is practically killing me slowly already. First time in my life, failed an MCQ test by 3 marks and I'll have to re-read that thick ALS book again. Not only that, I'll have to rearrange to resit it some other time.

Today, I found out that I forgot to update my calendar on my computer, so, ended up missing a module which I was supposed to attend (after they canceled the initial time that I signed up for and I totally forgot about the rescheduled date) yesterday. And that was the last module arranged for this rotation. What if there are no more available modules in the next rotation? What if I can't complete it before my portfolio is due? What if...... I just want to kick myself for forgetting about it.

Just now, one nurse asked me if I'd inserted the cannula into a patient's hand, which I did but I don't know why I kept on interpreting that she was asking if I'd catheterised the patient, so I answered 'no' twice. Finally, I realised what she was getting at and she reminded me to record down that I was the one who inserted the cannula. Haih....brain already shutdown.

Why are there so many patients who are only able to understand and speak Cantonese? And why are there no other doctors around who can speak the dialect? Why am I always called to handle them? My Cantonese is horrible, and I don't even know any medical terms not mentioning the name of parts of the body. No one will say Kidneys or Intestines in daily conversation, do they? I only picked up Cantonese through watching TVB dramas, and rarely I hear them mention any medical terms. Haih.....

Cases....need to get 18 of that, prepare 2 presentations, all before I can complete this module without fail. By the time I get home, I'm already half dead and without any motivation to even read anything medically related. I need something to inspire me. In these dark moments, I just wonder did I make the right choice in doing medicine? Have I gotten any joy from practicing medicine? How did I end up suffering like this? What's the point? I still get patients who are pissed at you cause you don't follow what they want you to do for them. Remind me somebody, why on earth am I becoming a doctor? Maybe I should just change my profession.

Enough of all the ramblings......I'm so not looking forward to the 36 hours oncall in Malaysia. I don't think I can handle it. I'll end up killing a few patients due to extreme tiredness. The existence of the the long oncalls just bewilders me cause there's an excess of housemans in Malaysia at the moment. I hope that they abolish it soon.

London before the end of holidays

New Year Countdown 2010

These 5 people who has been in the UK for the last 4.5 years and never countdown in London decided to leave at 11pm by tube to get anywhere near Central London by 12 midnight. Other people would have been there by 10pm to get a good spot and waited till the countdown but no, we slowly took our time and left late. To our surprise, the tubes were still packed like sardines.

We were asked to get down at Embankment as Westminster was already crowded with people. There were still crowds of people there. It was weird just getting pushed around by people and following the flow. We only heard a few fireworks and didn't manage to see much except for the really nice lighted Lion King Theatre building. It started snowing a bit as we made our way home.

In contrast to the number of people when we were making our way there, the tubes were practically empty on our way home.

Next day, we went for Sherlock Holmes movie. I joined my friends again after meeting my uncle, aunty and 2 cousins for lunch. I really like this movie and loved the part where Sherlock Holmes was trying to pick the lock and then Watson comes along and just barges through with Holmes still holding the pins in his hands. Recommended.

We had dinner at Tuk Din near Paddington after to celebrate the wedding of a new couple: A and L.

We caused quite a ruckus in that restaurant with so many of us. The happy couple in the top right corner.

Final picture with most of us.

No more backlog of posts. Back to my stressful life at A&E. Need to study for my ALS resit and write up my cases. Haih....

It's so funny how my dad described me as Liverpool FC cause it can win against really strong components like Manchester (Finals exam) but lose against weaker teams (ALS exam). Hmmm...that's why I'm in Liverpool.

Marrakech, the last of Morocco

Warning: long post ahead

This will be my last post on Morocco.

As we didn't book any hostels in Marrakech, we bumped into one of the runners and he brought us to view some of the nearby hostels. Finally, we settled for this one which cost 60 dirham a night and for our 2nd night there, they gave us discount. So it was 50 dirham. Weird enough, they also rent out their shower to any non-staying customer for 10 dirham.

Marrakech is something like a land of sharks. The sellers and even the snake charmers were really aggressive. For example, H and P who went closer to take photos of the snakes were chased by the charmer for money, just for snapping a few shots. They looked really angry and aggressive if you didn't pay too. I saw someone who paid one of the snake charmers to put a snake around his friend which gave him a really big shock. Hehehe....

The post office where I sent off most of my postcards. Hope that they'll arrive.

Djemaa el-Fina square - the place where you can see all the snake charmers, acrobatic acts, musicians, etc.

It is a UNESCO heritage site. But after the experience with the snake charmers, we dared not even go near any of the performances.

This photo was taking at maximum zoom from the orange juice stalls opposite. hahahah. At least they didn't come running to ask me for money. What if one of the snakes lost interest in the flute and decides to run away?

Koutobia Mosque

Tallest building in the medina. Very useful landmark to get your bearings right. It's about 5 minutes walk from Djemaa el-Fna square.

Back to the square - there are fresh orange juice everywhere which made it a torture to me as 1 glass was only 3 dirham and I am allergic to citrus fruits!!!! So sad. By that time, I was already having a really huge ulcer on my tongue most probably due to the spices that they put in Tagines. I cannot survive in Morocco for more than a week.

Calf's brain - the only 1 thing that I wouldn't try. At least snails were more appealing.

The nightmare - hundreds of restaurant stalls. The promoters there were really aggressive. Not only that they keep on dragging you by the hand/ arm into their stall saying 'just see, just see', they made you promise to return to their stall for dinner. I think we've broken a lot of promises.

Shopping time

There are soooo many stalls inside the medina. Not only was it packed with human beings, I was at high alert for motocycles squeezing through the narrow paths and cartwheels which knocks your legs if you didn't avoid it in time. Phew... Again, the annoying Konnichiwa greetings occurs and this time, the frequency multiplied by 20 times.

The shopkeepers' standard greeting was 'Come, come, just see. I give you good price'. But then the good price was only good in their perspective and there was a lot of haggling to do as prices can be higher by 10 times the actual price. If you can haggle in Marrakech, you can haggle anywhere for the best price.

Dinner:

We did go back to the 3rd stall which practically dragged us in earlier and all the workers clapped their hands when we arrived. Now, this is when I concluded that I will never step into Morocco again.

They promised us free drinks and 1 free dish for the night. Looking at the menu, there were many choices and the prices was on average 40 dirham per dish.

We had salads, kebabs, tagines, battered shrimps and calamaris. I think we ordered around 8 dishes. Food was not bad.

This is one of the food that you must try if you're in Morocco - Bastilla. It is a pastry with pigeon cooked in nuts and honey. More sweet than savoury and reminds me of curry puffs.

In the middle of clarifying

When we asked for the bill, the waiter just scribbled 430 on a piece of paper and told us that he's giving us a dish free, so the total was 400 dirham. We paid the sum and got ready to depart but P and E realised that they charged us far more than what we've ordered. So, we asked him for the proper bill and my goodness, his handwriting was ineligible and he even had the nerves to write that the total sum after all the adjustments made was still 430 dirhams. I couldn't stand it longer and took the piece of paper from him and rewrote all the numbers to recalculate. The extra charges of 70 dirhams were for bread and olives (10 dirhams per person) but it was written in the menu so we can't argue. The thing is, nowhere in Morocco were we charged for the olives and bread. A higher price was charged for the 2 Bastilla that we've ordered but H and YH remembered the exact price so it was corrected. But even then, he still over-charged us 50 dirhams, which we got back in the end. When he went back to the counter to get the change, we even saw his boss turned really angry and threw the money at him. I pity him cause he's been employed to con tourists but of all people, they chosen the wrong ones to cheat. Nice try, but bet you didn't expect that we were so aware of the prices and are able to do mental calculations faster than you. So, beware of scams even for food.

Shopping time again! The shops closes quite late, some especially near the main square opens till midnight.

Supper - we went to have tea or coffee at a nearby restaurant. The waiter's English was limited and we even drew Calamaris on a piece of paper to ask if they had any but they didn't. Guess what happened, we were allowed to go to the restaurant stalls to buy some and the waiter even gave us 2 empty bowls to take them back. So nice of him.

Last day in Marrakech:

KFC for brunch - the spicy flavour for the chicken was just extra spice sprinkled on top of the fried chicken. But it was delicious.By that time, I was already quite broke but decided to exchange more money to buy more souvenirs.

This open top tour bus is practically in every city that I've been to. We were planning to visit the palaces that morning.

The colourful spices

Square near El-Badi Palace

As the palace was closed till 2.30pm that day, we decided to have tea at El-Badi Palace rooftop restaurants overseeing the square.

The sugar container was shaped like a Tagine.

Even wrote my postcards while we were there.

Tagines being prepared.

We wandered off the beaten path and ended up in an area only the locals roamed. It was such fun as we got to see mothers scolding their children on the back lanes, locals buying vegetables and having their lunch, barbers giving their customers a shave, and daily products sold instead of souvenirs. We did get lost after a while but managed to find our way back to familiar places.

The cakes sold at the medina was really expensive. I think it was 40 dirham per piece. We didn't haggle for food prices. Maybe it could have been cheaper. E bought this doughnut hung on a string for just 1 dirham in the not so touristic area. See how much the prices differ.

The shop were we bought the most things. In the end, after bargaining for such a long time with the shop keeper and even returning for the 2nd time, we just had to take a photo with him. I do miss fixed prices without having to worry about scams or how much do I need to tip someone.

More late night shopping.

By the end of the day, we were so skilled in haggling that we even haggled for fresh orange juice. Initially it was 18 dirhams for a 1.5 L bottle of orange juice but by bringing our own bottles and bargaining, it came up to 30 dirhams for 2 bottles.

Dinner at the same restaurant where we had supper and being served by the same nice waiter. This was the only time I felt that it was worth tipping him. Food was again the standard orders.

Snails for supper - the snails at Fes was still the best that I've tasted.

Marrakech airport and breakfast on the plane

It was a nightmare trying to arrange for transport to the airport as we had to get there by 5am. Initially, the runner who recommended the hotel promised to get us a van for 25 dirhams per person but when we went back to confirm, he disappeared. At the same time, our hotel person said he could find transport for 30 dirham per person and he said it would be a van. So, we took up his offer. Guess what was the final scam. Luckily there was a taxi which was meant only for 4 person turned up at 4am when we were supposed to depart. At least we got to the airport on time.

The final straw was at the check-in counter. Clearly the counter was open but they wouldn't let us check-in till 6am and our flight was supposed to be at 7.15am. Marrakech airport is notorious for long queues at the security gates and passport control and I don't want to miss my flight. So, I waited there till 5am and when I saw a family traveling to London managed to check-in, I quickly ran there and luckily, they allowed us to check-in. I don't know what's the point of delaying us from checking-in and causing us to miss our flight. I don't want to remain in Morocco for any longer than planned. Are they trying to make us buy another set of flight tickets due to missed flight? I just can't help but have negative impressions of Morocco.
Back to London at last!

You will never believe how relieved I was. First time that I felt so relieved that I've returned from my holiday destination.

On our way to Chinatown for lunch

Dim Sum at Gerard's Corner. Enough of all the Tagines and bread.

I hope that you've enjoyed my travel log on Morocco. If you're planning to go there for a holiday, make sure you take into account all the tips that I've written in the last few entries.

Next up: London - finally up to date with all my posts.

On the way to Marrakech

Continuing from our trip back from the dessert....

Lunch:

We were all really hungry from all the excitement and camel ride. Standard lunch - tagine, omelette and salads.

On our way to Todra Gorges passing behind the High Atlas Mountains, we stopped at a few really beautiful spots to take photos.

Kasbahs under the mountains

Todra Gorges - really beautiful canyon. I even saw a Japanese tourist busy sketching the scenery. Who knows he might be one of the manga artists trying to capture the view of canyons for his work.

Route of a thousand Kasbahs towards Quarzazate.

Finally reached our 4 star hotel in Quarzazate:

After a rough night in the dessert, we were pampered with this 4 start treatment. The rooms were really spacious and beautifully decorated. The beds were really soft too. Had one of the longest shower in my life. There were just sand everywhere! I didn't even realised that I was carrying 200g of sand in my jeans pockets.

Dinner:

Buffet dinner. This is a luxury in Morocco. I think I had 2 rounds of mains and desserts.

I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. The next day will be our last day of the tour.

Breakfast:

Buffet breakfast with an assortment of bread, jams, cheese and meat.

Old Hollywood studio in Quarzazate

New Hollywood studio in Quarzazate. Our tour guide told us that Gladiator was shot here.

Going through High Atlas Mountains

The temperature was quite chilly. We stopped for more photos and there's even a snake charmer in the middle of the mountains.

Top of High Atlas Mountain

Lunch:

We stopped for lunch at one of the restaurants on our way down High Atlas Mountain. This time, we had steak, salad, and some mushroom dish.

Back into the wilderness - Marrakech:

Our tour guide released us in the old town of Marrakech. Now was the time we had to leave our comfort zone and stand on our own two feet.

How did we survive? What obstacles did we encounter? Find out in the next post.

Next - Marrakech, the last of Morocco